It's almost that time...

Ahhh...New years, my favorite holiday. It used to be because I was a party girl. Now I like it because it's a new year and a new start. I'm going to have an open house for people to drop by. I figure people always have tons on plans and instead of making them choose they can either stay for the whole thing or not.

So usually I would take the whole "I don't make resolutions." This year however I have a list. Many of which are your standard.

1.) I like big butts...and that IS a lie. I'm going to get skinny gosh darn it! I'm tired of being the fat girl. It was awesome when I was thin. I will hit my goal weight by the end of this year! This year I turn 30. New decade new girl!

2.) Run a marathon. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can

3.) Be more diligent about learning to speak Spanish. My husband is fluent and Alexander will be too. I don't want them speaking about me and making jokes at my expense in another language!

4.) SAVE SAVE SAVE! We are planning a trip to Germany. We can't go if we don't have the money!

5.) Take better care of our vehicles.

6.) Not get caught up on insulting people. When people are being negative I will try to say something nice about that person. Except for the Clintons. I just can't do it. Ick.

7.)Watch less tv. My goodness what I could do with all that extra time.

8.)Be more organized.

9.)Be better about attending Mass. Sheesh....I am a Catholic it's not like I say it because I'm trying to be different. I am just too lazy to get up and go. What's sad is there are like 10 different Masses I could go to. INCLUDING at night!

10.)Review this list often and keep at it.

There you go. It's a lot I know. Hopefully I will stick to it.

On a different note...Lent is coming up soon. Instead of giving up soda, I'm giving up fast food. Man I bet I lose some serious weight!

Toodles noodles.

Life is Good. Life is GREAT.

So I'm not one to talk about physical things. Unless it's something silly like my back. I for one can not stand when people go into great detail about body stuff. Especially if they go on about womanly issues. It makes me ill!

However I feel I should share something with you. In hopes that it will make you all more aware of how important it is to go to a Doctor. ANNUALLY!

When I was pregnant with Lex at my first appointment with the lady doctor they did the usual annual exam. My results came back as being abnormal.

I was suppossed to follow up with that but I never did. Until like the last month of my pregnancy.

I had to see a different OB because my Midwife was out of town. He looked through my file and noticed the results. He ordered me to do a series of tests and to come see him for another exam. I did and he said that he would have to do a more invasive exam after I delivered.

I made the appointment but never went. Shame on me.

I was watching a show and they discussed cervical cancer. They started talking about the tests that are done to determine if it's cancer. I realized then that those were the same tests that they had been doing on me.

I was scared and started crying. Not because I was afraid of dying. But because I was mad at myself for taking this so lightly. I'm a wife and a mother now. It's not just me anymore. I have too much to do here and too many people to care about.

So I immediatly scheduled an appointment but had to wait like 3 weeks to be seen.

I went in today. All clear! No scary "C" word for me. However...those abnormal cells are some cause of concern. I now have to make an appointment with the Dr. every six months for the next few years, since those abnormal cells can turn into the scary "C" word.

It was a small thing but it scared me straight and not take my health for granted.

Oh my back!

I injured my back. I didn't do anything. I woke up and it's been mad at me.

So my husband has been wonderful and has been taking care of The Turtle and told me to stay in bed.

There's nothing on tv so I had him bring in the Roku Box. I <3 our Roku Box. It's a machine that you hook up to your tv and it connects to Netflix and you can watch the movies on you tv.

I watched "So I Married An Axe Murderer" "Paris, Je T'aime" "The Other Boleyn Girl" and "It Happened One Night."

I liked them all. And it was a lovely way to spend my Sunday. However I was thinking I should've read. Meh.

Hey kids...Let's put on a show.

I know, I know. You all have absolutely been dying to know what's been going on in my life. Ha!

Well I've been in Foxfire. We've had some really good houses. Actually I am quite surprised at the number of people who have come out to see it. We did a few shows at the library before I moved to Oki, but I certainly don't remember this many people coming to the plays.

It's a really good story. Although the cast has been interesting to say the least. I sure do love being on stage. Even if I am a little rusty.

This is the last weekend, but I'm sad because now I don't know when the next time I will be cast in a play. Hopefully not too long.

Skinny girl to be

I have taken a cue from my loverly friend Olivia and have started another blog. It's all about my weightloss adventures. It's skinnygirl2b.blogspot.com.

I titled that because since December 3, 2006 I've been a "To be" of some sort. Bride to be, Mother to be. So it was weird that I was no longer a "to be" of some sort. Then I started getting really into changing my health lifestyle. So there you go I'm now a skinny girl to be.

I'm finding writing about my whole weightloss path as motivation. Journaling it and also keeping track of everything on sparkpeople.com is opening up my eyes and making me a lot more aware of what I'm eating and doing.

So join me if you want to.

See you on the skinny side ;)

Meg

seeeeew....

My Mom is going to give me her old sewing machine. Holla!!!! I am on a mission to teach myself how to sew. I always have ideas for designs, but alas I have no way to make these creations. I'm really excited! I plan on making a ton of shifts and then once I get really good, I'm going to make all sorts of vintage inspired pieces.

Now I've only made two things on a sewing machine my whole life. A pair of shorts that turned out horribly. That was in the eighth grade and while I already had a love of fashion, I wasn't really interested in learning how to sew.

Then when I was 20 I decided I wanted to make a top for myself to wear. It was really cute. It was a halter style. I wore it a lot. It turned out really well.

So we shall see. I can't wait!!!! I have fallen in love with dresses because it's so nice to just throw on something without really thinking about it. I want to have a closet full of dresses!!!! I will have to post pictures of my creations.

Even more inspiration...

So tonight I went to the Riverside to see "Murder at the Tropicabana." It was really cute. While I was there I got to catch up with Miss Elena. She told me about an awesome photographer who is located in B'more. Check this out...http://www.atomiccheesecakestudios.com/

OH MY GOD!!!! Isn't that awesome. It's so me. A pin up photographer. So that's what I want for my 30Th birthday. I know I know I don't turn thirty until next year. This gives me even more motivation to shed this weight! Hi-oooo!!!!

I'm gonna be all ripped because I will have (hopefully) run my first marathon. Let's see...do I want to do your classic 1940's pin up like Norma Jean or 1950's like my beloved Bettie Page? Oh decisions decisions. Good thing I have over a year to decide!

Been thinking...

So while I was at a low I was doubting my ability as an actor. I've decided to get over this. I know have another goal. I need to get in shape because not only do I want to run a marathon, I am finally going to stop being a chicken. I am going to take a big leap and start auditioning up North.

I've auditioned several times at the Riverside and haven't been cast. I've allowed that to doubt my abilities. I've been cast in several shows right? Including up at the Lazy Susan. Clearly I can't be that untalented. After all with being an actor, singer, or dancer there's a lot more doors being shut then opened right?

So I need to get over this. I'm also thinking about taking voice lessons. I don't know how to read music, which is a bad thing if you do musical theater. I know my Grandma Grace is probably rolling in her grave knowing this fact about myself. Curse seven year old Megan who quit piano lessons because she wanted to watch "The Brady Bunch" instead. Curse 17 year old Megan who didn't pay attention in choir. Sheesh.

I also need to take dance classes again. I used to be a pretty good dancer. Then like a stupid teenager I quit dancing. Well I guess I didn't quit dancing then because instead of ballet and jazz I danced traditional Mexican Folk dancing. I wish I had just continued on with dance.

Maybe I should get a part time job. This could turn out to be expensive. Oy!

It's a new week

So I feel much better after having gotten all of that out of my system. I made a yummy dinner for David and I. It was very SoBe friend. Grilled chicken, mixed veggies, salad and South Beach mashed cauliflower. Yum. The healthier I eat the more I like it. After my dinner tonight I felt good. Like light and healthy. It's a good thing as Martha would say.

I've been really bad about my exercising so I am getting back on the horse tomorrow and jogging on the treadmill. I am going to run a marathon a year from now! I must not forget that.

Tomorrow I also plan on going through my clothes. I have a ton of bags and clothes that I don't wear anymore. Also I don't have a lot of room. It's going to be ugly and cut throat. Maybe I will sell my bags on eBay. Why not make some money for them? I've never done that before. I just want to rid myself of clutter. I can't stand it! I don't know how I acquire so much stuff!

Well I'm off to eat some yogurt and granola. Then I think I will read. I have always love Sunday nights. I believe it is the most relaxing because it's the quiet before the storm.

It was a good day...

Until I ruined it.

My Mom sent me an email the other day asking if I would like to have a date on Friday with her to see Julie & Julia. So I got to my parents house early and we had a nice chat. Then we went to Subway had lunch and watched the film. It was great. Such a chick flick. It was nice to get a glimpse into Julia Child's personal life. She came into herself late in life. Kinda helped me because I've been kinda down in the dumps lately. Nothing serious, just that ever present self doubt that follows chubby girls around. Something you can't get rid of no matter if you ever lose weight.

I have been on this constant battle my whole life of what I want to be. Actress, Singer, Dancer, Advertising Exec, Lawyer, Paralegal, join the Air Force, Hair stylist, make up artist and Teacher just to name a few. I also wanted to be a Stay at home Mom. I have never known what it is I really want to do.

I love staying at home with Lex. It's almost six weeks since I had him and this is the time most women go back to work after having a baby. There is no way in H-E-double toothpicks that I could do that. I love fixing lunch for my husband when he comes home and ironing his clothes for him to wear to work. Here's where the self doubt creeps in...I don't feel like I'm doing it right.

When I look at my apartment it's nothing but cluttered and a disorganized disaster zone. It's never clean enough. I'm embarrassed when people come over because I have no idea what they think. I really feel like people come over and look at the pile of baby items in the corner next to the TV and judge me for the fact I haven't found a place for it. The carpets are dirty and of course there are the cats. I'm always worried that my house smells like a dirty litter box.

Then there's my cooking. As much as I love to cook, I haven't reached the level I want to be at. My hubby is always sweet and tells me he likes what I cook but does he really? Seriously I always feel like I mess up the dinner somehow. Plus on the nights that we order in I feel guilty because I'm at home all day. I should be able to have a dinner ready.

I'm also worried about being a good Mom. I mean this is serious, someone else has their life in my hands. Literally. I'm worried I will mess up this kid. I don't want to have one of those relationships where I smother him so much that he either moves out of the house and never speaks to me again or he becomes the creepy middle age man who still lives at home and calls me Mother. Even worse I feel like a failure already because I can't breastfeed. The milks not there. I know there's nothing wrong with formula. I have tried everything I could to get my milk to come in but once again something else I failed at.

My marriage. I worry that I'm not the wife that David wanted. I'm not an affectionate person. I worry that I am the ice princess like Brie from Desperate Housewives. I snap at him from time to time and I don't know why. I worry that he will someday think I don't love him and leave me.

Then there's theater. I have always danced, sung, and acted for as long as I can remember. In a lot of ways it is all I have ever known. I had always thought I would move to New York and be on Broadway. Just your regular old working actor. I never thought I would be the next Bernadette Peters. Just a girl who made it. I even let that dream fade. I never tried. I never got the chutzpah to just do it. Now it's too late. Why? My worst fear has been realized. I'm not as talented as I thought.

I first started to think this last year when I was "Erma" in "Anything Goes." It was community theater but I had fun. Why? Because I like performing. My friends came and saw the show. I had a solo where I did a dance and got to belt out this song. I thought I did great. The only thing they said to me was..."Can you speak in that voice?" Not a single one of them had heard me sing or seen me act and dance. There was no "Oh my gosh you were amazing." Nothing about my performance except for the high pitched voice I used. I just set it aside and didn't think about it until just recently.

I am in "Foxfire." Again community theater. Oh and let's not forget directed by my parents. No they didn't cast me because I'm there daughter. I was one of two women to audition who was the right age for the role. The other woman gave a good reading but just wasn't right for the role. So while I am at rehearsal I start paying attention to how I deliver my lines. I realized then and there...I am awful. No wonder I can't get cast at the Riverside. I am a triple threat of no talent. I had been thinking about taking acting, voice, and dance lessons again to condition myself. I had thought about when Lex is older going up North and auditioning for the theaters up there. Why bother.

So anyways...I had a lovely afternoon with my Mom of lunch and a movie. We went back to their house and my father came home and had a nice visit with him as well. They of course were the happy grandparents visiting with their grandson. A lot of times I look at him (Lex) and think that he is the one good thing I have done in my life. I was a horrible student. I'm not stupid just lazy. I wish I was dumb because that wouldn't be as embarrassing as being a bright girl who just didn't care enough. I have been fired from more jobs then it seems possible. I drank myself into debt. Frankly I'm just a mean fat girl.

Back to my originial point of this post...My Mom being the proud grandmother that she is wanted to show the cast of "Evita" her grandson. So I took her to the theater and we showed him off and everybody was excited and complimentary. It was time for me to leave and as I was putting Lex into the car my Mom saw the tattoo that I got a little while ago.

My Mom and Dad hate tattoos. Normally my Mom gets mad but this time she cried. I made my Mom cry and I feel horrible. She said to me "That she doesn't understand why I get those ugly things." Then she said something that made me think. She said that to her they are a sign of immaturity. She asked that I not get anymore. I said I wouldn't but I've said that before so I know that my words mean nothing.

I started to think about what she said. I got this tattoo of a pin up girl before I knew I was pregnant. I'd always wanted a pin up girl tattoo. Now I'm a Mom and I've grown up. I really have. You have no choice. I don't want to get another tattoo. I really don't. I have four and that's enough. I don't regret any of them and I like them all but I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not the "Rebel Without a Clue."

Then I thought about what is it that made me get these tattoos. Yes I like tattoos and piercings. Is there something more? Yes there is and I know what it is now. I have always hated my body. I have never been thin enough. I have never liked my face. I have never liked my hair. Yes I am that girl who stares at herself in the mirror and looks at every single flaw. The wrinkle in between my eyebrow even though I am an avid moisturizer. The super fine hair that isn't shiny enough. The belly that has never been flat. The horrible stretch marks. The dark circles under the eyes that never disappear even when I'm well rested. The nose that isn't right. The flat chest. The bad posture. The broad rib cage. I have always hated my body and I believe the tattoos were a way to cover up what I despise.

I made my Mom cry. I said I was sorry but you know what? That doesn't mean anything anymore. How many times have they heard that from me? I'm sorry I got fired again. I'm sorry I don't have any money again. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. Words that I've spoken so often that now it's like the boy who cried wolf.

I know we will get past this. Now that I've grown up I realize the repercussions of my actions. Maybe this may seem like nothing to some people. Like it's a tattoo, you are almost 30. The point is my parents didn't want me to do it and it is just something else that I did without a care in the world.

I'm not that selfish girl anymore. I do actually care about what my parents think. Now I'm trying so hard to build back the wall that I tore down with all my irresponsible actions. But once again the past has come back and knocked down what little work had been done.

I know this blog has been very dark. Perhaps I should've kept it to myself. I feel better now that I let it all out. I didn't write this because I'm fishing for compliments.

I will find the path that I am supposed to be one eventually. Everyone does. Perhaps it will happen to me when I'm much older like Julia Child.

For what it's worth Mom if you read this. I'm sorry and I won't do it again. Words that I really mean. Not just reciting, like lines from a script.

Ouch

Warning this blog is about boobs and breastfeeding...

So, I have always had issues with my yabos. We have never seen eye to eye. I always wanted big ones. Well not big just like a good size like a small C. Instead I am flat as a board (I think it was all the ballet. Sure I couldn't get the pin thin body but the small bubbies, I get.)

When I was about 22 I finally came to terms with my flat chestedness. I liked it because I liked the way I could wear shirts that I couldn't if I was big. Then when I became pregnant I thought "Aw crap my boobs are going to grow." I didn't like that. My friends said "Hey your boobs are going to get bigger." Then looked at me like I had a second head when I started to pout. I didn't want for them to grow. Be careful what you wish for...

So I had Lex or rather he is removed from me. Then the lactation consultants start trying to teach me how to breastfeed my baby. They do this right after your baby is born. I believe this is a huge bonding experience for you and your newborn. Why? Because you and your baby are so out of it that all you can think of is how nuts these women are. Don't they know what you've just been through?

I thought it was weird that they kept asking me if my breasts grew during pregnancy. They did but only a tiny bit. So here I am trying to nurse my baby and my stupid chichi's betray me yet again! That's right I'm not producing enough milk.

I feel like a failure and I hate my bazoongas even more now. Jerks.

So it's not that I'm not making the moo moo juice it's just not enough. The lactation lady suggested I take this herbal supplement called Goats Rue. Turns out it's this miracle pill that is supposed to help your milk come in. In fact women that adopt children can take it and nurse their adoptive children.

Mine came in the mail yesterday. Which is funny because I always made this joke about waiting for my Tatas to come in the mail. I took it and of course was a little skeptical but I'll be a son of a gun! I ache! Something that I didn't experience when I was younger. So that's a sign. I'm still waiting for my milk to come in. I don't want to buy formula anymore. It's expensive and smells gross!

So keep your fingers crossed. I guess if I get breasts it won't be the worst thing in the world.

Monday Monday

So it's another week. I am bound and determined to keep motivated and keep working out. I'm about to hop into the shower and then off to the market with Turtle.

I plan on doing a modified SoBe since I am still nursing Lex. I do have to eat some carbs. I'm not however going to go crazy. Plus I shall continue my exercising. I'm totally going to win at this weight loss game.

Tomorrow starts a new chapter in the Garcia household. David starts his new job so we wish him luck.

Time to start this day!!!

And it continues...

I am proud of myself! I have lost 25 lbs. Okay that may just be from having Lex. It has however kept me motivated to keep working out. I must confess I was lazy two days this week and I didn't walk on the treadmill today but, David and I walked around Spotsy Mall so there's my cardio.

Granted I did have pizza for lunch and pastaroni with dinner. Meh...as long as I keep exercising I should be good.

I'm waiting for my South Beach Books to come in. David and I went to Costco today and bought a whole bunch of meat. Seriously nothing but meat. I plan on just making a protein and veggies until I get my cookbooks.

Man though I'm really digging this whole exercising thing. I can't wait to get into good enough shape to go out jogging around downtown. I just might meet my goal of running a marathon by Lex's first birthday!

Day One...

Look at that couple. I know I know we are so good looking it hurts to look directly at us. This picture was taken on our Honeymoon in front of The real House of Seven Gables in Salem. Believe it or not I think we can actually look better. I mean Angelina and Brad will be hating on us! So my hubby and I are going on a diet and training to run a marathon by our Turtles first birthday.

I have in my shopping cart on Amazon South Beach Books. Come on payday!!! I am going to get the original South Beach Diet Book, the receipe guide plus the reference guide. It's neat it comes complete with grocery lists.

As many couples do David and I have put on weight since we got together. Thanks to my addiction to fast food. Neither one of us really likes eating junk food but we sure do A LOT! I have said to David that I do not want to become like Roseanne and Dan! So much so that I am printing out a picture of them and putting it on the fridge. Also now that we have Turtle I do not want him to be chubby like I was. Plus hello! Diabetes runs on both sides of the family.

Why South Beach you ask? Well a couple of years ago my Mom, Dad and I went on it. It was before my brother's wedding and we wanted to look good. I lasted a week because I'm lazy. In that first week however I lost my sweet tooth (which was amazing) and 6 pounds. My parents stayed on it for awhile and they lost a lot of weight. Then they fell off of it. You know what? They haven't gained all of their weight back.

It's really not that hard. I mean the first two weeks is because it's very restrictive. The receipes are good and easy. So we shall see how it goes.

I am going to get on the treadmill as we speak and walk for ten minutes. Baby steps. I am completely out of shape. So I am starting out small and walking on the treadmill at an easy pace. I did just have surgery afterall. When I was a party kid I would go out and dance at least once a week. It was awesome cardio! I should do that again except not get into the drinking.

Nursing Turtle is helping the weight come off plus drastically increased my water drinking. Sweet!!! My skin is going to look gooooooood!!!!! I'm obesessed with my complexion even though I've never had an acne problem. Hydration hydration hydration!!!!

We don't have a scale but pounds don't really matter to me because I am going to go by how I look. I weighed 140 lbs when I was 22 and looked damn good, but I think I can do better this time around.

So here we go!

New goal

So something has come over me. I think I've been inspired by how fast my belly has gone down (thanks breast feeding.) I used to be thin. Thin and hot with long hair. I miss being 22. So since it's been two weeks since I had Turtle and I'm almost back to my prebaby weight, I'm going the distance.

Around Lex's first birthday I want to run my first marathon. So after I have fully healed from my c section I plan on beginning my training. I hope I don't pull a Meggie and actually do it.

I will post my progress here when I start. I would like to be svelte Meggie again!

Turtle Turtle

So...I'm finally getting around to blogging about my sweet baby boy. He's asleep right now so I thought I would take advantage and also try to sneak in a nap. Here's the amazing adventure I've been on for the past week.

On Monday June 29th I was admitted to Mary Washington Hospital to be induced. I took a birthing class and they said try not to let them induce you. I should've listened or not...I'll explain in a bit.

When they induce the give you Pitocin which kicks starts labor, before hand though they give you a hormone to kind of prep you. I forget what it's called. That's the reason you come in the night before. I had heard how Pitocin can make labor much more painful. I wouldn't know about that. Why? The hormone they gave me and I didn't get along, it was the devil! It started contractions. They were sooooo painful and so close together that the damn Lamaze breathing didn't work. I was hysterically sobbing and just about broke David's hand. The Nurse said she had never seen that happen before. She kept giving me a painkiller but it only worked for like twenty minutes and eventually stopped working all together. I threw up I was in so much pain. David made the comment that he had never seen someone fill up a bag so much. Gross!

They decided that my poor body had had enough and removed the hormone which was supposed to hopefully end the contractions. They examed me and after ALL that I was still 1cm dilated like I was when I got examed at 4:30 p.m the night before. It was about 3:30 a.m. I was beat and worn out and still sobbing because the contractions would not stop. David felt helpless because there was nothing I could do and was quiet the whole time.

Since I had had such a strong reaction the Doctor on call okayed me for an epidural which is unheard of at 1 cm. I had wanted a complete natural birth but had said that I'm no fool and no when to throw in the towel. So I got my epidural which was hard for them to do as I was having contractions every 2 minutes. Epidural...my new best friend!!!!

Because I was all numb and could finally relax they decided to go ahead and give me the pitocin. So at 7 in the morning they put it in my drip. I didn't feel a thing. They said I was having contractions, I couldn't tell you if I was because I felt nothing!!!! I was so exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep but they kept checking on me and examing me and giving me more pitocin. Breaking my water yada yada yada...Then that's when the trouble started.

They had noticed earlier that Lex's heart rate was dropping. Nothing alarming but they wanted to keep an eye on it. I remained calm because if I stressed out that would only make it worse. That's what David was there for. At about 1:00 p.m on June 30th the Doctor came in and told me words I will never forget. "Your baby's heart rate has dropped down as low as 90. We can do a C section now and you can have a healthy baby or wait but there could be further complications."

That was the single most scary moment of my life but I couldn't think about that. I didn't even ask David what he thought. I told the Doctor "Do it."

David went and got his parents and my parents to come see me before I was taken away. My Mom started crying and I told her not to worry just to pray to Saint Jude (the Patron Saint of Desperate Cases.)

At 1:30 I was wheeled into the O.R. and was prepped for surgery. David came in at 1:45 and at 1:51 Alexander was born. Hearing his little cry was such a surreal moment. They held him up over the little curtain thing and David took a picture then they whisked him away to clean him off. I had a hissy fit on the table because I had had enough! I wanted out. I wanted to take my baby and run away. I was still being put together when this happened. Then I had a crazy attack of the shivers. My teeth were chattering and everything. The anesthesiologist gave me some Demerol and I was all goooooood. David then brought Lex over to me when he was all wrapped up so I could see him. I wanted to hold him soooo badly but I had to wait.

Fast forward to a week later and all I do is stare at him. It's weird because I never knew it was so possible to love someone so much. I love his little happy baby noises. I love when we stare at each other. I love when he falls asleep in my arms. I even love when he wakes me up in the middle of the night. I'm someones Mom now and that's very very peculiar. He's such a cute baby and he's also a very good baby. Except when I change him. He does not like to have his diaper changed. Man does he scream bloody murder! You would think I was beating him.

I've had my staples removed and am still a little sore from the surgery. Sometimes my back aches and I have a dull headache. In the end it was all worth it. The horrible pain was worth it. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Just another Tuesday...

So yesterday I had a Doctors appointment. I have another one tomorrow. Nothing yet, Lex apparently is in no hurry. So the Doctor said I need to be more active if I want to kick start labor. Today I went window shopping.

I had a nice relaxing day overall. I talked to my Mom who called for her daily update. After we exchange "Hellos" the first thing out of her mouth is "Anything?" my response is always the same. "Nope." We chatted for a little while later and then I made the bed and got ready to go out.

I've been trying really hard not to become the lady who lets herself go. So I got dressed and put on my face and then went to the mall.

I walked around Macy's coveting all the linens and kitchen items that are out of my price range. I want to redo my whole apartment. Lot's of blues, greys, and cremes with dark wood. Le sigh. Oh money.

So when did Fiesta ware become so expensive? $17 for a dinner plate!!!! That's crazy. I was upset. Then I saw such a sweet elderly couple who were still clearly as in love with each other as they were when they first got married in the 1940's. I forgot all about the prices and just smiled and left Macy's. Okay that's not true, first I looked at the Coach and Dooney & Burkes bags. They were 30% off!!!! Thank goodness I do not have a Macy's gift card!

I walked around a little bit more and decided that I had had enough of the mall. I resisted Bath & Body Works and their sale. Also it's depressing to see all the cute summer dresses because I can't buy them. That's the problem with being pregnant. I will hopefully be having this baby any day now so I don't want to buy anymore maternity dresses. Yet I have no idea what my post baby size will be. Grr!!!!

I did get to go shopping thanks to the gift certificate to my favorite downtown store Whittinghams. I love that store yet never buy anything from there. So I got some new place mats, tongs, a meat thermometer and my beloved cow creamer that I have been eyeing for like year now. I did not however get the items I was planning a cheese grater and sugar bowl. Oh well.

By the way...I couldn't figure out how to get my pictures where I wanted them. Oops....

Like I said tomorrow I have another appointment. Then I think I will walk around Pier 1.

It's Sunday

Hello everyone! So I really don't have anything to write about so it's all going to be random.

First off I have decided that Lex will be born on June 23rd. I've already told him he has no choice in this matter. Why? So you may or may not know I'm a HUGE theater person. It's not a hobby it's a lifestyle. I've been singing since I could talk, dancing since I could walk and acting...well let's just say I do that on a daily basis. Just ask my beloved husband. He seems to think I'm dramatic. Am I good at these things? A triple threat if you will. I like to think so, but others may disagree. Whatev...Anyhoo, June 23rd happens to be the birth date of my favorite and I dare you to disagree greatest Choreographer in the world Bob Fosse!!!! I told this to David and he looked at me like I was crazy until I explained that the Late Mr. Fosse was quite the ladies man.

So I have a little over a month until my little dude is due. I'm very very tired. Oh and found out that I am anemic. Boo! So here's my sad Preggie Meggie story.

About two weeks ago I was in Giant doing my grocery shopping. I got all of the items on my list and went to go wait in line. Whilst standing there all of a sudden I break out in a sweat and realize I may faint. I got tunnel vision and everything turned a shade of violet. So I drop down to my knees and start trying to focus on my breathing. There's a lot of people in the store and yet... Not a single person asks me if I'm okay, offers me water, Nothing. There I am 8 months pregnant and no one shows me any compassion. So once I could stand again I left my cart where it was and got into the car. Luckily my vision returned to normal. So all those jerks that were at Giant especially the lady who just stood there staring at me while this all happened, May you get an itch where you can't scratch!

I'm reading my first romance novel. Gotta be honest it's not my thing. I'm not saying that because I think it's tacky. Trust me...all you have to do is look at my bookcase to realize I read the literary equivalent to The Hills. I just can't get into it. Plus it's a Pirate theme so I'm reading it with a Pirate accent. Which I do with all books. The last book I read for the book club was set in Texas. Anyone else do that? It gets annoying after awhile but I can't stop! Help me!

Well that's it for now. I'm going to try to read some more before I go to Otani's to celebrate Brandon's 30th birthday!!!

They should tell you this...

Here's something I didn't know that would've been nice. The better shape you are in the easier your labor will be. Seriously?! I'm in trouble! Apparently if you like excercise before and during your pregnancy labor is a breeze.

After my little dude is born time for me to get ripped! Can I go on "The Biggest Loser?"

Little girlie lost

So for a long time that was how I referred to myself. I used to call myself that when I was "lost" in a world of alcohol, strange music and even stranger people.

It all started a few months before I graduated. I believe January 1999 to be exact. I was living in Oki and had just come back from a nice long Christmas vacation in Seattle. My best friend (who is still my best friend) Frankie (aka Keith long story) told me about this club in Naha we had to go to called "Bump."

Now let me explain who I was at this time. I was a very innocent girl at the time. I had only had one boyfriend named Eric who was a little summer romance I had when I was 16 and spent the whole summer in Seattle.The farthest we went was kissing. I had had one beer at a high school party. If I told my parents I was spending the night at Frankie's house I was actually there. I never broke my curfew which was midnight. The worst thing I did was smoke.

So Frankie told me about this club and this new music he was really into which he called Techno. He played it all the time. Well at least when he wasn't listening to Cher's newest CD. To be perfectly honest I didn't get hooked on it. I at the time was really into music from the 80's and big band. So we would drive around Kadena in Frankie's Silva smoking and listening to this new music.

Then one weekend Frankie said "let's go to Bump!" We didn't have school that Monday so we went on a Sunday night. It wasn't busy and as a matter of fact there were like ten people there. We went in and got a table. In Oki when you go to a club and pay twenty bucks to get in you really are only paying ten. They give you drink tickets for two drinks that cost $5.

There I was 18 and in a club. Did I mention the fact that my parents didn't know that I was there? They would've frowned heavily upon it. Mainly because my father was a Lt Col and it wasn't appropriate for their daughter to be hanging out at clubs with young Marines who could sometimes get out of hand. I get it...Now!

I felt very uncomfortable being there because I was sure my parents would figure out where I was and storm in and drag me out of there. So we sat in the corner and I smoked cigarettes while Frankie danced to this strange music. I got a drink with one of my tickets that sat and got watered down because I didn't drink at the time. I got it just for show. Overall I wasn't impressed. Not being familiar with the music and my general uneasiness of being someplace I knew I shouldn't be made me more awkward then I usually was. I'm a very awkward person but back then I was even more so. Frankie had to explain me to a lot of people sometimes because of the jokes I would tell or just because I had different way of doing things.

We didn't go back to Bump for awhile. Not until one Friday night. It was way different. Keith had been going there a lot and finally convinced me to go back. He had met some people there and always seemed to have the time of his life. So Keith, his friend Sanda and I all piled into his car one Friday night and went to Bump. I was prepared for another night of people watching, smoking and not drinking. Wheee.

Something was different about that night. Maybe it was because we met up with two Young Marines who Keith had met earlier and then when we got there met more people that Frankie knew, that I began to relax. I actually had fun. I actually enjoyed the music. I actually talked to people which I never did. I was hooked. Oh man was I addicted!

I loved the way people dressed. I loved the colorful lights. I fell in love with the music. It was just all so new! I danced a little. Of course awkwardly because while I was a dancer I wasn't a club dancer. Ballet, jazz and traditional Mexican folk dancing don't help when it comes to dancing at a club. There's no right or wrong way to dance to tecno, but I was too self conscience. I learned to get over that quickly!

I met a lot of people while going to Bump. Some of whom I am still friends with to this day. Some I was best friends with until they moved never to hear from again. Some I wised up and realized weren't as great as I thought. Some I really wish I knew what happened to them.

Bump was a different time in my life. I eventually told my parents about going there. They had met the people I hung out with and thought they were nice enough. We were young and so completely free and safe from the real world. Okinawa is a very sheltered safe place to live.

I was happy and on top of the world for a moment. All of that changed that summer. The summer my best friend moved. We did everything together! He was part of my identity. He reminded me who I was and why I should like myself. He reminded me that people should like me for who I was or they weren't worth the time. When he left, I forgot everything he had told me and for the next seven years would indeed become a Little Girl Lost.

More about that later...

What to do...

So I clearly am going to have a lot of free time on my hands. Well at least for a few months before the baby comes. I am going to take a cake decorating class through Michaels on Monday mornings because I want to be known as the Mom who bakes. I'm also thinking of maybe volunteering someplace. I submitted my application to the Library. It seems snooty that I have to submit an application, they even wanted references. I left it blank because I am a brat. I'm trying to think of other places. Just one or two days a week for a couple of hours.

One can not stay in the apartment all the time. So we will see. I am starting to dislike daytime t.v. It's good for background noise, but that's it. Once GH comes on then I'm happy.

David has all this week off. He will ruin my routine. That's what husbands do.

Oh check back here after Wednesday. We find out what we are having? Will it be Charlotte Rose or Alexander David? I CAN'T WAIT!!!! I'm so excited. I had a dream the other night in which I met our baby. June can't get here soon enough as far as I'm concerned. Although I do cherish the time David and I have left as just "us."

That's it for now. I'm sure I will be writing more since I have lots of time on my hands now. It sure is great to be away from Best Buy!!!!

Auld Lang Syne

So...I quit. I left Best Buy. I won't go into the details, but I was left with no other choice. I now am finally going to be what I always wanted, a stay at home wife and soon to be Mom.

I was saddened by the thought of putting my baby in daycare or dropping them off at the babysitter to go to work. It's time I will never get back. I was lucky enough to have a Mom that stayed home with me when I was small and I loved it. I'm glad I didn't grow up at the daycare center. I got to go shopping and my Mom would always take me to the Windsor Tea Room. We would drink our tea (I'm sure I probably had milk) and eat our little tea sandwiches. I loved it. That's what I want for my child.

I'm so fortunate that I am able to do this. It's what I want. I will finally be able to prepare my husband dinner instead of coming home and being so exhausted from work , the pregnancy and the stress of my job! The apartment will be cleaned everyday instead of on Sundays when David and I were both off.

Most importantly...I won't have to deal with that damn company and the managers and supervisors that made my life a living hell for the past few months. I can finally enjoy my pregnancy. I can finally start to figure out what to do with the nursery. I am finally FREE!

Wow they exist!!!!

So much to David's annoyance, I am a Republican. I can't help it! I was born like this. My first sentence was Ronald Reagan is the best President!!! Okay maybe not. Don't stop reading or speaking to me. My political views are my own and I will not express them as that's not what I am writing about.

What I am writing about is there was an amusing article on the Fox News website. It was basically talking about how Yes there are really celebrities that are Republican. Among the list

Kelsey Grammar (star of one of my all time favorite shows Frasier)
Patricia Heaton (For some reason I love Raymond too.)
Charleton Heston (Don't hold that one against us)
Gary Sinese (Aw Lt. Dan!)

Oh and this hasn't been confirmed but Robert Downey Jr is rumored to be a member of the Grand Old Party. I love RDJ!!!!

So while we don't have Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie (Who's father incidentally is a Republican. Maybe that's the real reason they don't talk.) We do have some good people. Yay!!!!

grr...

Dear fellow employees,

You are getting on my nerves today.

Sincerely,
Meggie

Really?

Dear Customer,

If a live person answers the phone that means we are open. You don't need to ask "Are you open?"

Thanks,
Meggie

Happy New Year to you too buddy!

Dear Customer,

While I realize I am a girl. I do know about electronics. I have told you three times today that we do not carry this imaginary product. It is really annoying that you don't believe me and keep asking me to transfer you to that department "to speak to someone who knows what they are talking about."

I hope you get an itch where you can't scratch.

Sincerely,
Meggie

New Years Day

New Years Eve has always been my favorite. It's not the drinking, I just like getting all dressed up and having fun with my friends. It's been my favorite for as long as I can remember. I used to tell people Halloween was my favorite because people tend to look at me weird when I say "New Years is my favorite!" There's such a nice energy in the air and people are just pleasant.

This New Year's? I fell asleep at 11:30. My poor husband rang in the New Year as I layed in our bed with our Sock Monkey sheets snoring and drooling. At least Carmen was there. So he wasn't alone. It's Smooshie's (my mom's nickname for the baby) fault. I vow to never be pregnant on New Years Eve ever again!!!!!

Also is it New Years or New Year's? My grammar isn't what it used to be!