Friday, October 21, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
I know most parents think this, but I have to say there's something magical about my children. Maybe it's the innocence in their eyes or their smile when they look at me. I just feel like they are here to do good. Like their so purpose in life is to make the world a better place. People seem to fall in love with them and not in that fake "we have to pretend we like them" way, but an honestly become smitten with them.
I love my children and am so blessed to have them. I never liked kids and wasn't dying to have any. David and I had discussed having kids but it was a if it happens it happens kind of mentality. It's a lot of work having kids. People say that and it's one of those things that you kind just say "Yeah yeah yeah...how hard can it really be?" I had no idea! They are a handful.
Especially Lex because he's two and mobile. Lucy however is really attached to me for some reason. I have to be in her line of sight or else she freaks out. I ran out to pick up dinner for us the other week and when I came home David said that he just calmed her down because she frreaked out as soon as I left. She's giving him a complex. I think she's just a "mommy's girl". I love being a wife and a mom. If anyone had told me what I was in for even six years ago, I would've said you're crazy! I had no idea my life would change so drastically. I guess to put it a different way, I feel like my life started.
I don't want you to get me wrong. I'm not one of those women who is more in love with their children then they are their own husband. My identity isn't as David's wife or Lex and Lucy's mother. I am still me. I still want to be social away from my family. I am thinking of my future which is why I've gone back to school. I've decided that I will continue on to Law School after I complete my degree. I would just say marrying David and having our babies has made me more dimensional. I'm not as superficial as I used to be. However I still judge people by their shoes.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
As I have said many times I am a republican. Card carrying member since 1998. Even before then I was a republican. I was born into a family of republicans. I am a Marine Brat whose father worked at HMX and got the honor of serving the last good President we had Ronald Reagan.
I don't always agree with my party, Michelle Bachmann annoys me. I really don't like Sarah Palin. I don't agree with my parties views on same sex marriage. Someone give me a reason why gay people shouldn't get married that does not involve the "Bibles" definition. I do think that the health care industry needs an overhaul. I'm for the right to own a gun. Why? There are bad guys everywhere. You're telling me that if you get guns out of homes that the bad guys aren't going to get them elsewhere? You are delusional. Especially since the economy is so bad that in some towns they can't afford to have a fully staffed police department. You bet your sweet behind I am going to have a gun to protect my babies. Anyone breaks into my house and endangers my family will be shot.
I am also pro-life. That is as far as I willing to talk about it. I once saw someone post something along the lines of "if you are pro-life you are only kidding yourself. You are anti-choice." I will resist the urge to punch that person in the face next time I see them. That would be as ridiculous as me posting "If you are pro-choice you are only kidding yourself. You are pro-death."
I also think that it is ridiculous that they want to raise the taxes on the wealthy. Why? I mean seriously why? They earned that money and they do pay taxes. There is this stupid posting put out by Elizabeth Warren. Yes, the rich didn't get rich on their own. But you know what? They still pay taxes. You want to raise taxes for corporations? Guess what will happen? That's right more jobs will be sent overseas. Why? Because the labor is cheaper and they won't have to pay taxes. So how will this fix the economy? Oh that's right it won't. I'm not going to give the knee jerk response that most conservatives would and call her a communist. I will instead just say I strongly disagree with her.
You want to fix the economy and bring down the unemployment rate? How about you give the big corporations more tax breaks as an incentive to bring the jobs back to America! Duh.
I find it amusing that all these politicians are vilifying the wealthy when they themselves are richer then I will probably ever be. I personally think it's a joke. Talk to me about raising the taxes on the wealthy when a.) They stop giving themselves pay raises that they clearly don't deserve b.) get the spending under control and c.) All of them stop pointing fingers and blaming the other party. They are all idiots and remember what they say about pointing a finger...there's always three pointing back.
I don't know a lot about politics. I don't like to hear other peoples opinions. I know I'm contradicting myself by writing a post about it but at least you have the option to not come read my blog. I will simply end this post with a quote from Reagan.
"Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives."Ronald Reagan
Friday, September 2, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Since I was a little girl I have always stared out windows and daydreamed. I always dream about my future and where I am going and what I will be doing. I used to daydream about what my husband would look like and if I would have children. I always thought about where I would be living and what job I would have. Even now I stare out my window. I'm still thinking about the future and where we will be going. Who's my next friend that I am going to meet. What will our first house we buy look like. What my children will look like and what will they be when they are grown. My conversations with David are always about our future. I'm always planning. I find it exciting. I know that they say "Today is a gift and that's why it's called the present." But to me thinking about the future is like that moment when you get a gift and it's wrapped up and you have no idea what's in it.
Whenever I think about the future I'm always happy. My life always seems happy. Maybe it's because I like to look at the glass as half full. There is a lot about me that has changed over the past few years. I don't know why but it has. I've decided that there is no point in walking around with a chip on my shoulder. There is no point on focusing on the past because I can't change it. Yet my outlook for the future has always remained consistent. It's always bright. What do you picture when you think about the future? I always see the sun rising, there's always a breeze and it's always warm. There's always a lightness to me. I'm always fulfilled. I'm always smiling. When I think about the future the feeling I get is almost like a rush or like in your favorite song when it builds up to the crescendo.
I think for me thinking about the future is a coping mechanism I developed. It's been on overdrive since June 2001 when I moved back here. I have always thought about the future and where I would be living. Whatever it is, it makes me happy. I'm just curious about what people see when they think about the future. Maybe I'm the only one who does this. To some the future can be overwhelming. To me it's a comfort.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
What is up everybody? How are we all doing? Good, glad to hear it. Oh that's so sad. Yada yada yada.
La Lucia is 5 weeks and one day old. She's so big! Fussy...got a bit of an attitude and always dressed fashionably. Oh god...she may just turn into a mini me!
But that's not why I am writing this blog. I did it! After years of saying I would, I finally did. That's right I am a registered college student. I even declared my major...Legal Studies. So in roughly about three years and a month (if I don't take a break that is) I will have a B.S (tee hee).
I am currently registered for four classes. The first two start July 4th. One is a required course by the school. Basically this is how you go to school online dummy! The other one I registered for was World Religions. I have always been fascinated with other religions. Then after that it's onto College Algerbra (Lord grant me the strentgh) and an English writing class. Which I am really looking forward to because my grammar skills have gone down the tubes.
I'm eager to start. I figure my story will be able to maybe influence Lex and Lucy. The whole wandering around aimlessly in dead end jobs for ten years hopefully will convince them that that isn't the life they want. It sure as hell isn't what I want.
I'm really looking forward to the big money I can make with my degree at the law firms in Seattle. So right now I have all these cheesy motivational sayings going through my head like "The tassle is worth the hassle" "Goonies never say die!"
I just like that I waited until I was married with two kids and a house to run before going back to school. I never said I do things the easy way....sigh.
Onwards and upwards !!!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
I feel restless. Like I need a change. Yes, I know I just had a baby and that's a huge change. I go through this phase at least once or twice a year where I literally feel like I have to move out of Fredericksburg or I may die. It's annoying and I annoy everyone around me. I can't move anywhere for at least the next five years. I just wish this feeling would go away.
Also I feel lonely and isolated. I think this is postpartum, not the scary kind. Just the usual one that everyone experiences after having a baby.
I feel like my life is moving really fast and I feel like before I know it it's going to be too late to do anything with my life. I think I feel this way because basically my 20's were a complete waste of a decade. Like I never did anything or went anywhere. Now I'm married with two babies and I can't just move to New York or L.A because I want to check it out.
My 30's I believe will be the decade where I make up for having wasted my 20's. I guess it'll be all about finding the balance of pleasing my family and myself.
Maybe I should start seeing a shrink...maybe I should be medicated.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
She's here! My little baby bunny, my little diamond is here. She looks so much like Lex it's scary. Like they could be twins except they were born almost two years apart. She's very sweet but serious. If I believed in reincarnation I would say she's been here before. She has that look in her eyes that she's been here before and that she has a lot to do.
She's strong just like her big brother. She already holds her head up to look at you when you hold her on your shoulder. She may actually be stronger then Lex. That's my girl!!!
The first few nights at home with her were a little scary. Poor thing would spit up everything. A few times she choked and that was terrifying! To see your little baby so scared and turning red and trying to gasp for air is so scary. But we found a new formula for babies with Acid Reflux and that seems to have done the trick. She stays fuller longer and so far we have very fortunate to not have had any more scary nights. Although I am an expert with the boogie sucker outter.
She has a healthy appetite...already put on a pound since leaving the hospital. She's starting to smile and the other night (as I posted on Facebook) she laughed out loud in her sleep.
Sleep how I miss it. It's better now with the new formula but she still gets me up at least once in the middle of the night and then is awake for at least an hour or two. However before switching formulas she was getting me up every hour/hour and a half. So I was the walking dead there for a week and a half or so.
I don't think I'm suffering from the baby blues. I do notice that I am very motivated to get back into the gym because I hate the way I look. I feel a little better about my appearance since I got my hair did yesterday. But I still suffer from the same self loathing of my body as I always have. Losing weight I don't foresee being a problem because number 1.) I'm not hungry and number 2.) I don't have time to eat. I always thought people with children so close in age said that to cover up the fact that they have an eating disorder but it's true. There just doesn't seem to be time to sit down and eat much less fix myself lunch.
I will be starting back up my skinny girl to be blog here shortly once I can get back into the gym.
How is my Turtle doing...He has entered the terrible twos. Lord. Help. Me! He's still cute and is slowly starting to warm up to Lucy. He gave her a "kissy kissy" and today has been fascinated with her little toes. He's into everything and is getting quite familiar with the Time Out chair. I'm pretty sure he thinks his name is "Alexander No." Ha! Even though he is throwing hissy fits he's still my sweet little boy and still loves to give out hugs and kisses. I'm trying to hold on to everyday with him because I know in a blink of an eye he will be a teenager and won't want anything to do with me much less hold my hand.
My poor husband is working himself to death. Since the two weeks before Lucy arrived he's been running on little to no sleep. First he's started going into work at the ungodly hour of 6:45 am to appease his stupid company. I'm not going to air out the dirty laundry but let's just say this lady hasn't been happy and my husband has had to calm me down. Plus he's a full time college student. Then we had to get our house in order because my Mother in Law came in for a visit and she stayed at our house so I wanted everything to be perfect but was too pregnant to do a lot of it on my own. So there was poor Mr. Garcia coming homing after a 10-12 hour workday starting to work around the house for about 2-3 hours in the evening for the week prior to Lucy being born. He wasn't eating until 10:00 at night and then immediately going to bed and starting all over again at 6:30. Needless to say the day after we brought Lucy home I forced him to take a nap because he was so tired he didn't even realize just how tired he was. He was so busy taking care of everyone else he forgot to take care of himself. So for the first time in about 2 years Mr. Garcia took a nap!
I've been doing a lot of reflecting. My concern now is my family and how can I provide the best life for them. So probably this time next year I am going to go back to school. I am going to get my Associates in Paralegal Studies. I love staying at home with my babies but once they are in school it's a little more hard to justify being a stay at home wife/mom. So I love secretarial work and working as a paralegal but want to make more money doing so. Plus as I have said before my lack of education has been an embarrassment to me so I'm going to change it.
Also in reflecting I've been taking a look at the area we live in. It's not at all someplace I want to raise my children. The school systems are atrocious and frankly there is a lot lacking in this area. I want more out of life for my children. Both David and I lived abroad and in a way that makes us both snobs because we've seen the world and know that there is more to offer that just this little burg. I won't be sending my kids to public school out here if I can afford it because (I'm not just saying this to be biased) Lex is quick to figure things out. He has a very curious nature about himself that I can only imagine he gets from his father. I imagine David was the same exact way when he was a toddler so my fear is that Lex would get lost in the system. It happens all the time. Let's also be honest...I've never liked this area. I actually started crying when my parents told me we were moving back here because my Dad was retiring. I have honestly tried to be happy with my life out here but I'm not. So it's time to move on.
My hope is to move out to Seattle within the next 5-7 years. David will be finished with his degree we will have hopefully by then bought new cars and have them close to being paid off, Lex and Lucy will be in school but still young enough that it won't destroy their world to leave here and hopefully Grammy and Grampy will be able to move out there around that same time. I have to be realistic though...the move may not happen but everything I want is out in the Pacific Northwest. There is so much more culture, the school systems are way superior, and the cost of living is more affordable. Sure housing will be more expensive to buy but they pay more out there. With both of us working and making a livable income that really shouldn't hurt us too much. Plus here were barely scrapping by on what David gets paid. Cost of living keeps going up but David's paycheck sure as hell doesn't. His company's stance? Not their problem. Just do the work and shut up. Don't let them know if your unhappy or you'll be fired. Nice.
So that's what's going on in our little world. Our plan for the future. And how our family of three is doing now that we are a family of four. Life overall is good. We are all healthy, have a roof overhead, food in our bellies and about 98% debt free. Well until student loans kick in. I have a beautiful family and a husband who loves me more then I thought anyone would. And I love my husband more then anything in the world. I'm very lucky. Not everyone has all of those boxes in their life checked. I do know and am very grateful. I just want to make everything perfect.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Yep, that's how much time is left until my little Lucia arrives. I'm excited and nervous. Thank you Erin for answering questions I had.
Something I'm really looking forward to is (besides having the baby and no longer having a watermelon size belly) getting back to the gym. I was too tired and too busy getting sick to go to the gym. I miss it. I haven't gone in months and can't wait to get back in there. I have a vision of how I want to look and want to start working on it. I know I have to be patient because I can't do any heavy duty stuff (like run on the treadmill or Zumba) but I can get on the elliptical and do some upper body weight lifting after six weeks. The other stuff I have to wait THREE months.
I also have purged my closet and dresser of clothes because I need a whole make over. I'm so bored! I used to be this like fashionable girl who always did her hair and make up and had an actual style. Now I'm like the stereotypical "housewife" except I don't wear sweats. My hairs usually in a ponytail and sometimes it's like weeks before I actually wear makeup. Yeah...ME! So I'm going to stop that because that isn't who I am. I've just been so tired that I frankly don't have the energy. And lets be honest I hardly leave the house anymore because I'm so tired. But that actually is because of the pregnancy and a lovely thing called anemia. So I'm taking iron twice a day and my prenatal vitamins. My hair is super long!!!! Last time I took my vitamins and my hair didn't grow like this but it's almost as long as it was when I worked at Borders.
So I'm looking forward to having a little bit of a makeover because I'm unhappy with my appearance and I'm the only one who can change it.
Something else I'm looking forward too is our trip to DISNEY WORLD!!!! I'm one of those paranoid people so I refuse to post when I will be out of town and am actually not telling a lot of people because people don't think and post things like "Hey have fun at Disney! See you when you get back." Not that that's like a horrible thing but I just don't want it out there when we'll be gone. So we're going later on this year. I'm so excited! I can't wait to see Lexie's face when we get there. Plus it will be nice to get away. Recently all of our trips have been to see family but that's not a vacation. So I can't wait to get away! Plus I'm tired of getting annoyed at all of the vacation photos everyone posts on Facebook. Like it just makes me bitter even though I know it shouldn't. It's the green eyed monster in me. I should really get over it.
Well I think that's it for now. Gotta go torture the Turtle by giving him medicine. Poor little guy has the sniffles. I feel really bad when he eats because it's clearly difficult to chew while holding his breath. Yesterday it was really bad! His little nose was a faucet. Ahhh the joys of parenthood.
Till next time!
Onwards and upwards.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Hi, I know I haven't posted anything in a long time but I'm tired of biting my tongue. So here's the thing...
STOP BLAMING SARAH PALIN FOR THE TUCSON TRAGEDY! Listen I am a long time Republican as I have stated many times before and I'm not going to apologize for it because I'm not embarrassed. Do I like Sarah Palin...NO! I don't. I wish she would stay in Alaska and do something good like raise more awareness for Down Syndrome since her youngest child is a special needs child. Do I agree with how far to the right the party is heading...No! Would I become a lefty? Uh...no. Not at all.
The reason I feel like I have to blog about Palin is because I'm tired of hearing she is to blame. No. She is not. Yes she is an idiot, but as we can all agree the loudest people tend to be. She did not fire the gun. Jared Lee Loughner did. I do wish they would stop showing his mugshot because he scares me! I think almost as much as Charles Manson.
I feel that in blaming Palin you are taking blame away from Loughner. Most importantly there are families that lost loved ones in that shooting. A child, a newly engaged man with a bright future, a judge,the husband who tried to protect his wife, a wife who was devoted to her husband of 55 years & a grandmother. That is where the tragedy is. Their families need us to pray for them, to offer our thoughts, not turn an already horrible event into an even uglier one.
My heart breaks thinking about the parents never being able to hear their daughter laugh. Never getting to see what type of woman she would've grown up to be. It also breaks for the fiancee who was planning her wedding and dreaming of her future life with the man she loved. It breaks for the spouses who lost their significant others.
So enough with the bashing Palin. You want her to go away then ignore her. Don't give her any power. Give her as much thought as you would to the annoying coworker who is always spouting on about crap they don't know. Get off the bandwagon.