Little girlie lost

So for a long time that was how I referred to myself. I used to call myself that when I was "lost" in a world of alcohol, strange music and even stranger people.

It all started a few months before I graduated. I believe January 1999 to be exact. I was living in Oki and had just come back from a nice long Christmas vacation in Seattle. My best friend (who is still my best friend) Frankie (aka Keith long story) told me about this club in Naha we had to go to called "Bump."

Now let me explain who I was at this time. I was a very innocent girl at the time. I had only had one boyfriend named Eric who was a little summer romance I had when I was 16 and spent the whole summer in Seattle.The farthest we went was kissing. I had had one beer at a high school party. If I told my parents I was spending the night at Frankie's house I was actually there. I never broke my curfew which was midnight. The worst thing I did was smoke.

So Frankie told me about this club and this new music he was really into which he called Techno. He played it all the time. Well at least when he wasn't listening to Cher's newest CD. To be perfectly honest I didn't get hooked on it. I at the time was really into music from the 80's and big band. So we would drive around Kadena in Frankie's Silva smoking and listening to this new music.

Then one weekend Frankie said "let's go to Bump!" We didn't have school that Monday so we went on a Sunday night. It wasn't busy and as a matter of fact there were like ten people there. We went in and got a table. In Oki when you go to a club and pay twenty bucks to get in you really are only paying ten. They give you drink tickets for two drinks that cost $5.

There I was 18 and in a club. Did I mention the fact that my parents didn't know that I was there? They would've frowned heavily upon it. Mainly because my father was a Lt Col and it wasn't appropriate for their daughter to be hanging out at clubs with young Marines who could sometimes get out of hand. I get it...Now!

I felt very uncomfortable being there because I was sure my parents would figure out where I was and storm in and drag me out of there. So we sat in the corner and I smoked cigarettes while Frankie danced to this strange music. I got a drink with one of my tickets that sat and got watered down because I didn't drink at the time. I got it just for show. Overall I wasn't impressed. Not being familiar with the music and my general uneasiness of being someplace I knew I shouldn't be made me more awkward then I usually was. I'm a very awkward person but back then I was even more so. Frankie had to explain me to a lot of people sometimes because of the jokes I would tell or just because I had different way of doing things.

We didn't go back to Bump for awhile. Not until one Friday night. It was way different. Keith had been going there a lot and finally convinced me to go back. He had met some people there and always seemed to have the time of his life. So Keith, his friend Sanda and I all piled into his car one Friday night and went to Bump. I was prepared for another night of people watching, smoking and not drinking. Wheee.

Something was different about that night. Maybe it was because we met up with two Young Marines who Keith had met earlier and then when we got there met more people that Frankie knew, that I began to relax. I actually had fun. I actually enjoyed the music. I actually talked to people which I never did. I was hooked. Oh man was I addicted!

I loved the way people dressed. I loved the colorful lights. I fell in love with the music. It was just all so new! I danced a little. Of course awkwardly because while I was a dancer I wasn't a club dancer. Ballet, jazz and traditional Mexican folk dancing don't help when it comes to dancing at a club. There's no right or wrong way to dance to tecno, but I was too self conscience. I learned to get over that quickly!

I met a lot of people while going to Bump. Some of whom I am still friends with to this day. Some I was best friends with until they moved never to hear from again. Some I wised up and realized weren't as great as I thought. Some I really wish I knew what happened to them.

Bump was a different time in my life. I eventually told my parents about going there. They had met the people I hung out with and thought they were nice enough. We were young and so completely free and safe from the real world. Okinawa is a very sheltered safe place to live.

I was happy and on top of the world for a moment. All of that changed that summer. The summer my best friend moved. We did everything together! He was part of my identity. He reminded me who I was and why I should like myself. He reminded me that people should like me for who I was or they weren't worth the time. When he left, I forgot everything he had told me and for the next seven years would indeed become a Little Girl Lost.

More about that later...