Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Hello hello

How is everyone doing? Good good....glad to hear it.

Phew what a week. I celebrated my birthday with a few friends and my family. It was wonderful. My husband spoiled me big time. To totally brag...he bought me a Tiffany bracelet and an Amazon Kindle. I have no idea what I did to deserve such wonderful gifts but I love them both so much! I have to say though that this is going to be my last birthday party. I am in no way trying to be a "Debbie Downer" but something always happens on my birthday.

First of all my birthday is the 23rd of October. One week and a day before Halloween. I always end up hearing "Oh gosh, I already committed to going to a Halloween party for that same night." Also there are a million and one people born in the month of October. So I also hear "Oh I can't go that's the same night as my sisters birthday party." So I usually just don't bother.

My hubby doesn't seem to get it. Growing up it was always dinner with the family with cake and presents afterwards. That's it. Simple and nice. Just how I like it. So that's all I want.

This birthday (which is this Saturday coming up) is going to be sad. Unfortunately a very dear friend of the family passed away VERY unexpectedly. My heart goes out to that family especially the two daughters. We met because our Moms worked together and they decided that we should hang out. We were 10, 11 and 12. When I came back from Okinawa we all became friends again. Their Mother was like an Aunt to me and she had no problem talking to me like I was one of her own children. Needless to say she, just like my own Mom, did not approve of my nose ring or tongue ring either. When I came back from Oki and was having a long distance relationship with a Marine who played the guitar she told me to "Get rid of him. Guitar players are no good." Sure enough I got broken up with over the phone with these words..."I forgot to tell you, I was in love with someone else the whole time."

She was known for her sauce and lasagna. Just like any other good Italian Mom you better come over to her house hungry because she would make you eat anyway.

All she ever wanted was to have grandchildren. My Mom and I ran into her while I was pregnant with Lex and she went on about "I don't care if they're married. They have places to go to have babies. They can have the baby and then I will take it away from them so I can take care of it."

I know she was excited when she was told by her daughter that she was getting married. The first thought in her head probably wasn't "My baby's getting married!" more like "I'm gonna be a grandma!" They are in the middle of planning the wedding and getting everything ready.

Sadly...that same feisty lady (who was always dressed nicely and had her hair and makeup perfectly done) passed away. A huge shock and an even bigger loss. She was well known in the community because she was heavily involved with Church and was a very good business woman with connections everywhere.

I can't imagine what it's like to have to go through this. My heart goes out to the family. I know if it were me I wouldn't be able to function. I wish I could make all of this go away. I wish they didn't have to go through the pain of losing a Mother and a Wife way way WAY before her time. There are no words that I can express to help them. I always fear I will say the wrong thing. I've lost relatives and friends. Never have I had to experience this. Nor do I want to.

I've told them that I'm there for them and have prayed for them. Funny enough at my birthday party my wish wasn't for me but for her. I've cried everyday since I got the call. Not for Laurie but for the family.

So farewell Mrs. Wideman. You have no idea how much you will be missed. But now you can watch over your family. I hope you will rest in peace.

Monday, September 20, 2010

I don't do camping

Camping...something my whole family loves to do. Except for me. I know for a FACT I truly hate camping. Sleeping out in nature, not being able to bathe properly, not able to control the temperature, and bugs! And spare me the whole fresh air thing...so overrated.

Now I understand the attraction people have. I get it. However this girl is a city mouse and I like it that way! I get creeped out when I go to friends who live to far down 610 in Stafford. Some people like sleeping in tents and cooking food over an open fire. I like hotels with room service.

My disdain for camping started when I was 11 the summer between 5th and 6th grade. I had a best friend in 5th grade. She was a total bookworm and had freckles and red hair. We got along well. We always had slumber parties, sat next to each other on the bus and even used the same shampoo. Strawberry scented Suave.

As it turned out she was a Girl Scout. I had been a Brownie in first grade for like 3 months. Then started talking about going on a camp out and I asked my Mom if I could drop out.

It was getting to be the end of the year and Becca started talking about this Girl Scout camp she was going to go to for a week during the summer. At this time I was really into American Dolls and had just read the Molly summer book where she goes to an away camp and I thought...That sounds like fun. So I asked my parents and they said I could go.

I was so excited! I was going to camp with my best friend! It was going to be awesome. We ordered a whole bunch of summer clothes from JC Penney. I had to get a physical before I could go. The next thing I knew it was summer and time for me to go.

We drove somewhere out in the middle of nowhere Virginia and I was so excited. I see Becca and we start running around checking out everything. Before I knew it my parents had left and all of a sudden it dawned on me. I'm in the middle of nowhere without my family. And so the crying began.

Before I get into that let me describe where I was sleeping. First of all we were in the woods. Gross! Second of all the "cabins" I thought we would be sleeping in were not cabins. No, they were tents. Tents with the flaps rolled up and beds with mosquito netting over them. Oh and there was a rule. You couldn't kill anything. Found that out the first night when a wolf spider decided to share our tent and the counselor just swept it out. It was hot and humid and I was miserable.

When my parents left I started to cry. I cried through dinner. I cried in the shower. I cried and cried and cried. I was that girl. I guess to try to help me get over the crying the counselors finally let me call home. I begged my Mom to let me come home. I said "I hate it hear and I want to come home!" My Mom said "I can't come pick you up. Get some sleep and I'm sure you will feel better. I call you tomorrow before I go to work." I hung up the phone and continued to cry. I cried all the way back to that tent and cried myself to sleep.

The next morning came and I ate breakfast and we started to break into our groups to do stupid arts and crafts. I looked at the clock and it was like 10. My Mom had promised to call me. So I started asking the counselor if she knew if my Mom had called. Finally some older woman told me "Oh she called but we thought it would make you more upset if you spoke to her." I responded with "HOW DARE YOU!!!" I was a theater nerd who had an obsession with movies from the 40's and watched General Hospital so yes that is how I spoke when I was 11.

As you can guess...I started to cry again. So to shut me up once again they took me to call my Mom. Once again I begged to come home. My Mom told me she couldn't because she had to work. My father at the time was stationed all the way down in Norfolk and my brother couldn't be bothered to pick me up. She reminded me that it was Monday and that I would be home Saturday. So I was going to have to tough it out until then. So I hung up the phone and cried.

I had no choice but to suffer through it. The stupid arts and crafts, the childish "theater" classes, and the awful humidity and bugs.

Then I found out that on Wednesday we were going to come all the way down to Fredericksburg to watch a performance of "The Music Man." I saw it as my opportunity out of this hell hole! So I asked if I could bring my stuff and have my Mom pick me up. They said "No." How could they tell me no? To be honest I had been crying and complaining so much I'm surprised they didn't want to just get rid of me.

So there I was in Fredericksburg watching "The Music Man" with a lot of people I knew from having been involved with local community theater groups. I thought about begging someone to give me a ride home. I knew no one could do it. So we got back on the bus and I cried because I was so so so close to home.

Remember when I mentioned my Dad was stationed in Norfolk at the time? He came home every weekend, yep drove two hours every Friday just to be home for the weekend. That Friday he added an extra 3 hours to his commute just to pick me up. One day early.

I was never so happy to see my Dad. I jumped into the truck and never looked back. We went out to my favorite restaurant that night (Golden Corral) and I told them everything that happened. Oh something really embarrassing, I was so homesick that when I opened up my suitcase I found a dryer sheet. I kept it under my pillow because it smelled like home.

My Mom reminded me a few years ago about the letters I had written to her while I was away. They all said the same thing. "I hate it here and I want to come home."

About a week later I called Becca to apologize for being such a wet blanket and asked her how the last night at camp was. She said it was fun and that they had a sing along around a bonfire. I asked if she wanted to come over and go swimming and she said she couldn't. And that was the last time I talked to Becca on the phone. I saw her in the hallway at school and would wave but we were never friends like that again.

I've been camping a few times since then but I still hate it. In Okinawa we went to a smaller island to camp called Iheya Island. They had feral cats that sounded like mountain lions, bathrooms that looked like they belonged in a Stephen King novel, & no American style toilets in said bathroom. Also I got attacked by a folding chaise lounge. It totally swallowed me whole.

So there's my adventure in camping. I don't like it. If our next baby is a girl I won't make her go. Just do yourself a favor...if you have a daughter who is a little princess save yourself the headache and don't send her to camp. Unless it's a day camp.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Another opening another show

So yesterday was the opening of "There's a Monster in My Closet." It went pretty well. Nothing to horrible. Except for one of my scenes which always seems to have a problem. Just one of those things.

More importantly it was Lexie's big theatrical debut!!! So I'm a big ol'crybaby now. Ever since I had Lex and combine that with me being pregnant (I feel like I'm always PREGNANT) I started to tear up. I held it together though. My Mom didn't she started crying when she saw him.

I think though this will be it for the whole acting thing for awhile. With yet another baby on the way, I gotta put my stuff to the side and focus on being a Mom. My time of being selfish is over. Maybe this will be good for me. Help me figure out what it is I want to do.

Friday, September 3, 2010

My new/old crush.

When I was like 15 we finally got "3rd Rock From the Sun." That started my crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Like many other girls my age. I would watch that show mainly so I could watch him. Also like many young girls you grow up and forget about your teen crushes.

All of a sudden that young schoolgirl crush has returned thanks in part to movies such as the amazing "Inception" and "500 Days of Summer." If I weren't married...It's okay because David has Asia Argento.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Here comes the baby carriage...again.

So much to my surprise I am pregnant. Again! Someday I will figure out what causes this. Just kidding!

I gotta be honest. At first I was like "Oh no! How are we going to do this. We barely have money as is." Then my Mom pointed out that nothing will change. Lex will be old enough to try and potty train and all the formula and baby food will now go to "Bunny." Like she always says "just throw another potato in the pot." So that's what we will do.

I'm concerned that Lex will eventually grow to resent Bunny because he'll feel he got robbed of time with just us. David keeps telling me they will be best friends and watch out for each other. He's 23 months older then his brother Chris, like he's some sort of expert.

So we have no idea when Bunny's due date is. We are guessing anywhere between March-May. I think I am actually a lot farther a long then we first thought. I feel a lot of activity in the baby area. I swear there's a bed in there that she's jumping on. Right now I'm convinced it's a girl. Also I've started to wonder if we are having twins. They run on both sides of the family and it's the generation to have twins. That would be....mind blowing to say the least.

So here I am. Preggie Meggie once again. I hope this one is as cute as the last one!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

As your body grows bigger...

So I think I am going to go back to school once Lex is in school. I'm gonna start at the local community college and finally knuckle down. One of the things I've always been ashamed about is my lack of education. I always feel like everyone is smarter then I am. I guess the best way to describe it is it's like everyone has an inside joke and I'm not let in on it.

So I still don't know what I want to study. I mean I know what I don't want to study...like I don't want to be a doctor or a lawyer. I don't even really want to study theater. So I have decided that I will begin with the general studies and figure out after I complete that. It will be in a couple of years. I want to have Lex in Pre School so that way I can take classes at the same time. Avoid the whole paying a sitter thing.

In the meantime I have found a website that teaches you how to do math for free. Which I plan on utilizing because this lady is down right dumb when it comes to math. I want to work on my math so when I take a placement test I may be able to pass it. I want to conquer my math phobia!

So that's my idea (for right now) now if only I could figure out what I want to major in...

Saturday, July 31, 2010

My brain hurts.

So since I'm a haus frau I have a lot of time to think. About random stuff. Starting a band, daydreaming about being really thin, finally getting a new car. Most of the time however my mind winds up back to where do I want to be.

Easy answer of course. Seattle. I love it there. I love how polite the people are. I love how courteous they are on the road. People actually smile and say "Hello" in stores. Just randomly. It must be all the clean air. I want to live in Seattle because I love the city. I know I would be very happy there. I know that that is where I should be.

Unfortunately that will never happen. I can't leave my parents. I never had grandparents. I never got to spend the summer at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I never got the joy of my parents sending me over there while they went out on a date night. I don't have any stories to tell. Both my Grandmothers died long before I was ever even thought of. My Maternal Grandfather left while my Mom was really young. My Paternal Grandfather I did meet and did spend sometime with. I have three memories of Grandpa Lloyd.

The first one is eating a LOT of strawberries at his house. They just counted as I gorged myself. The second is when I had the ever living daylights scarred out of me. Grandpa Lloyd was going to give us a tortoise. I didn't know what it was it just looked like a rock to me. So I put me little 3 year old face up to it to look and the darn thing just flung it's head out at me! It scarred me so bad I jumped back and fell down, ripping my white tights in the process. Needless to say we didn't take the tortoise and my brother has still not forgiven me for this to the day. The final memory I have of my Grandpa Lloyd was 10 years later. It would be the last time I saw him. We went and drove around the Marine Corps Air Base that we lived in before moving to Va. We stopped at McDonald's and had lunch. He had a hamburger and a cup of coffee. Then we dropped him off at his house and I said "Now Grandpa, quit smoking." He passed away about three weeks later.

So the reason I'm writing about that is because I want to be sure Lex has endless stories that he can tell about his Grandparents. So that means we're staying here.

I mean I don't want to leave my family. I don't think I could. I finally have some really good friends whom I know will be around for a long time.

I believe that ultimately if we did move, David would only do it because I want to. Then I wouldn't be happy because I can't just go over to my Parent's house whenever I want. That Lex's memories would be limited to once a year or two.

I'm also torn because I know that I have wanted to move to Seattle. I was supposed to move out there after high school. That obviously didn't happen. I never wanted to move to Va. I knew once I got on the plane to Okinawa, I was never moving back here. I never missed it the whole time we were out there. And when my parents told me we were moving back here because Dad was retiring, well I started to cry. Because I'm a brat.

So here's how it all works out...in my world Seattle would be located where Fredericksburg is so I'm still close to New England. That way all the people I love are here but I still get to live in the city that I love. And none of the stupid rednecks are allowed in my city. And this way I get to keep a lot of the history that I enjoy about living here. My world is awesome!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I'm not ashamed...

I am not ashamed to admit that I am sad "The Hills" has ended. Okay okay I think you all are done booing me and throwing things at me. I fully admit I was caught up in the drama. I was there all the times Heidi thought she was pregnant. I was there before Spencer. Before Whitney moved to "The City." When Stephanie confronted Lauren at the club. The first time we were introduced to Justin Bobby. I was mad at Lauren for choosing ugly old Jason over Paris. And I was there for every awkward silence and all of Audrina's vacant stares. I will miss all of the drama surrounding Brody Jenner. Man that dude is hot! Oh but not as hot as my husband.

Most of all I will miss all of the different shots of LA and Hollywood. I don't care if it was fake, scripted reality, or manipulated television. I want my Hills and I want it back now. Without Kristen cause she's kinda boring. Dude why are you so angry? Why do you want to fight so much?

So goodbye kids. I don't know if you have any actual skills outside of eating lunch and doing shots...but good luck in all of your future endeavors.

So tired

So last Friday I decided to step back into my past and attend at techno night that some of my friends were spinning at. I have now realized I have grown out of this scene. And for once I am not just talking about my size. Somehow I grew up...when this happened I don't know. Maybe it was August 30, 2008 (when I got married) or maybe it was June 30, 2009(when I had my baby removed.) When it happened I don't know but it did happen none the less.

I enjoyed going out because sometimes I think to myself "I need out!" So it was fun to go out and hang out with one of my best friends. Dear Jessie, We live 20 minutes away from each other and never hang out...Let's change this! Anyhoo...First time we have hung out and listened to techno music since like 1999. Well we are married, she has two kids and I have the Turtle. We tried to dance and only succeeded at it for one minute. We used to dance for HOURS. Also another reason I know I'm old is because I was really annoyed at having to say "WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD!"

Another example of me being old is what time I went home. Now mind you this former party kid didn't stop partying until the sun had been up and most people had already eaten their breakfast and mowed their lawn. I was always one of the last to pass out. My father had always said..."Nothing good happens after midnight." I always argued saying that's when the party starts. What time did I call my husband to come pick me up? 11:40. Yep...I'm a pumpkin. Also notice I wrote "What time did I call my husband to pick me up?" Yeah that's another thing...I had a DD.

So while it was nice to see some people I hadn't seen in years, there is some truth to the whole "You can't go home..." It's a little bittersweet. I always kinda had this Peter Pan complex. Now I'm a wife and a mother. I prefer wine to beer. My cooking to McDonalds. Kybecca to The Tavern. And most nights being home with my family then out with my friends.

I write that now but if you call me on Friday I might just ditch my kid and husband and go out!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I totally forgot!!!!

I hate our furniture so the other week David and I went to Ashley Furniture and put a down payment for a new couch and a new loveseat. I couldn't find the exact one on the website but this is what it looks like...
In this color however...

So I plan on having like creams and neutrals colors through out the two front rooms but with a little pop of color here and there like green. Hidden here and there. I fell in love with this lamp at Ikea.
KNUBBIG Table lamp green Diameter: 8 " Height: 8 " Cord length: 79 "  Diameter: 20 cm Height: 21 cm Cord length: 200 cm
Also in the living room I am finally going to hang all of the pictures that we have from our Wedding (when I pick them up) that are in black and white.

Oh and the kitchen...Well even Miss Golightly would love it! Tiffany Blue walls under the chair rail. I even have my beloved martini glass that I was given at my bridal shower that was engraved with "Meggsie Golightly." So that's the plan for the house. You know once I finish cleaning and putting away.

This old house.

Oh dear...I have come to a stall. I don't know if it's the heat or what but man does my house look like poop! I just can't seem to find the energy to clean it. I enjoy having a clean house. Actually I love it and I covet people who always seem to have a tidy house.

David and I are messy people. We don't mean to be but I would say we are both like the character "Pig Pen" from the Peanuts. It's not dirt...it's just clutter. I HATE CLUTTER!!!

I'm hoping it's the heat but upstairs my word! My poor Mother in Law didn't get to see the babies room because it's still in boxes.

The downstairs was finally pulled together when the In Laws came to visit it looked nice. Now...ugh. I know I know...I have a baby but whatever. My house is not reflecting who I am in my head. Do you know what I'm saying?

I love this look...

Let the manic cleaning begin!

Friday, July 9, 2010

My life's a sitcom.

See that guy? I'm married to him. Except he looks like this...
Which would make me her...
Picture of Patricia Heaton
Heavy sigh.

Can't I be her?

Saturday, July 3, 2010


So since I sang "All That Jazz" in 1999 as a Senior in our high school musical, I have wanted to do "Chicago."

Well our local dinner theater is doing it. I auditioned and didn't get cast.

So now I'm at a crossroads. I'm 30 (almost) and all I have known my entire life is theater. I have known that when I grow up I'm going to be an actress. Well crap. I'm grown up. Annnnnnnd I'm not an actress. I'm a wife and a mother which is awesome! But me as a person, me, Megan Leigh Julia Cochran Garcia. Well...I don't know what I am. I have no clue what to do.

This is not a pity party it isn't. I'm not looking for any sort of consoling or anything. I need to say this.

I have no clue what to do with my life. I don't know anything. I'm not educated. I don't even know what I would study. I have no clue what I will do when Lex is in school. Continue to keep the house? Get some stupid office job. Be nothing? Be a nobody?

I've done nothing with my life. I've made no impact or lasting impression. I'm not talking about with my friends. I'm talking about in life itself. You have your hairstylists. They make people look good and in turn they feel better about themselves which is a good deed. An Attorney well maybe they prove their client wasn't the person that robbed the store and in turn a innocent person is able to walk the streets instead of living a life behind bars. A doctor helps diagnose that growth as cancer before it's too late allowing that person to live several more years.

Me? I...see there you are. Now before you think this is self hating. It isn't. It's simply a realization of what have I been doing for the last 30 years?

I am the only one who can change it. So I will pray on it. Meditate on it. Concentrate on it. 30 is a big birthday. But to me it will be a time for me to grow and figure out what it is I am to do for this world.

I will continue on my journey of losing weight. I will educate myself more. I will be the best damn wife and the best damn mother. Not being cast in Chicago was a good thing for me. It is what I needed to kick myself in the ass and say goodbye to that dream. And leave it where it belonged the whole time.

A new reality. A new me.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Clever title

Hello! I've been up to nothing. That's why there haven't been any entries. Oh well...what can I say my life is boring.

We're moving!!!! I'm ever so excited. It's a house and it's on Elm St. Ha! I am having it blessed because it is very very very old. Like 1869 old! I'm very excited about moving in mainly because it has a yard for Lex and Rowdy. Plus we don't have any neighbors!

So all I'm doing is planning on what plants and flowers I want to plant. I just can't wait to get in there! We will probably have a Labor Day Bbq/housewarming. There will be a little more room then what we have now. The bathroom is teeny tiny but I will get used to it. Once we get in I will post pictures.

I have all of the utilities scheduled to turn on there. All that's left is the actual move. So...let the countdown begin! T-minus 9 days!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

An open letter to the President

Dear Mr. President,

Today was not a good day. I am truly saddened by today's events. However today must be a good day for you. Why am I sad? I feel that my voice among thousands of others was completely disregarded.

It is very true that the Health Care Industry needs to be reformed. That's true. This particular subject is very near and dear to me. My brother is a hard worker. He has always worked and saved his money. He was diagnosed as a diabetic when he was 19. Now has he always taken care of himself like he should? Maybe not. But he has always worked really hard and saved his money and been a law abiding citizen. He's had some really bad health issues. No problem because he has insurance. Right? WRONG!!! They found a loophole and now my hard working law abiding (democratic voting) brother is having to pay for all of those medical expenses. Why? So he can live.

So obviously I know that the Healthcare Industry needs to be reformed.

But at what expense? Me? My parents? My 8 month old child? His children that haven't even been thought of?

A trillion dollars! A TRILLION DOLLARS?! I know you have to spend money to make money but A TRILLION DOLLARS? Do you remember 1993 when we were all freaking out because our country had a deficit of four trillion dollars? YOU JUST AGREED TO SPEND A QUARTER OF THAT!!!

I didn't vote for you. I must say I stand by that decision. You lied to all of us. You lied to every one of my friends who voted for you. You promised to unite the parties. You promised to be a centrist. You made a lot of promises. You sir are the most liberal of all Presidents that there ever was. You have divided an already divided country.

It's not even that you made a whole bunch of promises that you couldn't keep. It's that you made promises with no intention what so ever of doing them. You did the exact opposite.

I have a husband and a child. My husband works full time and I stay at home to take care of my son. We don't live outside our means. We have a strict budget that we have to adhere to. Diapers and formula and baby food aren't cheap. We don't even go to the movies because they are so expensive. We don't even have cars that were made in this century. We try to save what little pennies we have because we want to buy a home of our own. Nothing over the top. Just a nice townhouse. Our dream is to buy two new (actually used) cars and a house in three years. However tonight I feel as though our little American Dream just got crushed. Why? Taxes. You can't squeeze blood from a turnip. It's gotta come from somewhere? Guess that means us.

However time will tell. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it won't be as bad as I think. One thing you can't take away from me is hope. Although I'm sure there will be a tax on that too.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My dream last night...

Ugh...I think I'm trying to tell myself something. I had a dream in which I was in a dressing room trying on clothes. I couldn't quite figure out why my pants wouldn't go one. Then I looked in the mirror. To my horror my butt was HUGE!!!! I'm not talking big like you gained a few pounds. But I mean HUGE. I had a little torso and a huge booty. I started crying and then people started trying to calm me down. They were saying things like it's only temporary. You'll lose the weight.

Then they tied a sweater around my waist to try to camouflage this huge flaw. I looked in the mirror and it looked like a child's sweater. My butt was so big.

Needless to say I am going to gym tonight.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Extreme Makeover:Kenmore edition

So, I could post about the snow. However...I'm so sick of seeing snow, hearing about snow, thinking about snow and reading about snow. I surrender. I'm going to write about something else.

David and I have our plan in action. We bought our Cd's for our new cars and new house. I'm so excited to watch these little seeds grow. Best idea ever!

Since we are going to wait three years before buying a home, we've decided to make our apartment more attractive. By we I mean me. David just says "Yes dear." Ha! I've chosen the colors. First up is the living/kitchen. There is no separation between the two rooms. So the color has to flow into each other. I have decided on a pale green. It's actually the same green used in the Mark Twain Home. We are going to start that project probably this weekend. I will post before and after pictures.

I feel like this is our home for the time being and it should reflect who we are. So watch out nail holes. I out to get you!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Now here's look at the weather in my neck of the neighborhood

Hello. It's been crazy here.

So my Father had a scare. Went to the ER thinking he was getting Bronchitis only to find out he had developed blood clots that one actually was in his leg broke in half and actually went through his heart and settled in his lungs. Luckily for him it went through the right side. Had it gone through the left that would've been a stroke.

So for most of this week my Dad was in the hospital. I cannot say enough prayers thanking God and all the Angels and Saints that Dad went in when he did. Because while he was in the hospital they found another blood clot in his leg.

So he's on meds and home. He seems to be back to his old self.

I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat. I find myself welling up like 5 times a day. I even spent the night last night because I've been reduced to being a 5 year old and don't want to leave my parents side.

While al of this was going on we had the opening of "Jungle Book."

There were plenty of problems with that. Including today are opening. About 25 mins before curtain our Mowgli went home sick! The understudies saved the day though! Despite all those that I think our opening was great.

David and I have come up with a three year plan. We are going to save save save and then buy a new car and hopefully a HOUSE! Now to stick to it.

Also I found out a future show that The Riverside got the rights to. I now have more motivation to get in shape. So...dance class here I come! Treadmill you and I are gonna be well acquainted!

So that's all for now. Time for a new week. Hopefully a happier and stress free week.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I'm gagging

My cat Spankford's breath is kicking. Holy crow it's bad! That is all.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Theater rant

Once upon a time in and around the Fredericksburg area there was plenty of theaters. Now there is nothing. Well unless you are in with the in crowd. There is so much amazing talent in this area yet you don't get to see them.

I've always hated the whole cast who you know. Maybe it's because believe it or not as the daughter of two directors I barely ever get cast. Why? Am I untalented? No. I'm not the best but I can hold my own. One word. Nepotism. Which I understand. It will never matter how hard I work (ten times as hard as the rest of the cast) or the fact that the rest of the cast always hears compliments. It's always I got the role because of who I know.

There are three "theaters" around here. I've worked with all of them. One is a group of people who love theater and socializing. So a normal 5-8 week rehearsal run is stretched out to 4 months. They have talented musicians that come and play for their big musicals. Nice group (well except for the woman who was after my role but karma got her back.) but it's too far away. The second is another theater. Basically it is a showcase for a few people. Unorganized and a very very very tight knit group of people. The people are also teachers or retired teachers. I now know what I knew was always true. Teachers are jerks and will always be jerks. I can safely say I don't like teachers. It was the same in Okinawa. Teachers. *raspberry*

The third well it goes without saying. I can't get cast there to save my life. Boo.

So I am an actor who has no place to act. I want to start my own. In the 90's Fredericksburg was a much more artsy town. Those people are still around. Where did they go? I know of so many people who are as frustrated with the theater companies around here. Perhaps we join forces start our own company. We need to go to the Chamber of Commerce and Junior Chamber of Commerce. Look into Government funding. Anything and everything.

If I won the lottery I would build a theater. An actual community theater. With a live orchestra and anyone who wants to do a show can come and use the theater without having to be at the mercy of the schools or the library. Oh what the dressing rooms would look like! And the costumes? They would be in a specially designed room. With dehumidifiers and organized by color, time period and size. They would also be inventoried. And no one would be allowed into there unless they had a pin number to enter into the keypad. The prop room would be organized the same. Sigh. It would be beautiful.

There would be different directors and Sound of Music would never be performed EVER! I of course would be the star of every single show! Ha! I kid I kid. However the same people would not be in every show. There would have to be new blood every show. The same people would not be cast in the leading roles over and over and over again.

Oh it would be strict though. You don't put down your conflicts and then remember "Oh yeah I forgot I work on Mondays." You're fired! You come in late because you drank too much the night before? You're fired. You're just plain lazy? You're fired! You question the director? You're fired! You give notes to a fellow actor? You're fired. You are unorganized during auditions? You're fired!

That's just a dream. I can dream. And if Saint Genesius wants to throw something over my way I'd be more then happy to follow the road.