So, I have always had issues with my yabos. We have never seen eye to eye. I always wanted big ones. Well not big just like a good size like a small C. Instead I am flat as a board (I think it was all the ballet. Sure I couldn't get the pin thin body but the small bubbies, I get.)
When I was about 22 I finally came to terms with my flat chestedness. I liked it because I liked the way I could wear shirts that I couldn't if I was big. Then when I became pregnant I thought "Aw crap my boobs are going to grow." I didn't like that. My friends said "Hey your boobs are going to get bigger." Then looked at me like I had a second head when I started to pout. I didn't want for them to grow. Be careful what you wish for...
So I had Lex or rather he is removed from me. Then the lactation consultants start trying to teach me how to breastfeed my baby. They do this right after your baby is born. I believe this is a huge bonding experience for you and your newborn. Why? Because you and your baby are so out of it that all you can think of is how nuts these women are. Don't they know what you've just been through?
I thought it was weird that they kept asking me if my breasts grew during pregnancy. They did but only a tiny bit. So here I am trying to nurse my baby and my stupid chichi's betray me yet again! That's right I'm not producing enough milk.
I feel like a failure and I hate my bazoongas even more now. Jerks.
So it's not that I'm not making the moo moo juice it's just not enough. The lactation lady suggested I take this herbal supplement called Goats Rue. Turns out it's this miracle pill that is supposed to help your milk come in. In fact women that adopt children can take it and nurse their adoptive children.
Mine came in the mail yesterday. Which is funny because I always made this joke about waiting for my Tatas to come in the mail. I took it and of course was a little skeptical but I'll be a son of a gun! I ache! Something that I didn't experience when I was younger. So that's a sign. I'm still waiting for my milk to come in. I don't want to buy formula anymore. It's expensive and smells gross!
So keep your fingers crossed. I guess if I get breasts it won't be the worst thing in the world.
2 comments:
How interesting about the supplement. Who knew? I hope it works. Regardless, you're an amazing mom, and Lex is lucky to have you!
And you know what else? If you don't breastfeed it won't be the worst thing in the world, either. I finally stopped beating myself up over not breastfeeding my kids. Good luck with all that. :)
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