This old house.

Oh dear...I have come to a stall. I don't know if it's the heat or what but man does my house look like poop! I just can't seem to find the energy to clean it. I enjoy having a clean house. Actually I love it and I covet people who always seem to have a tidy house.

David and I are messy people. We don't mean to be but I would say we are both like the character "Pig Pen" from the Peanuts. It's not dirt...it's just clutter. I HATE CLUTTER!!!

I'm hoping it's the heat but upstairs my word! My poor Mother in Law didn't get to see the babies room because it's still in boxes.

The downstairs was finally pulled together when the In Laws came to visit it looked nice. Now...ugh. I know I know...I have a baby but whatever. My house is not reflecting who I am in my head. Do you know what I'm saying?

I love this look...

Let the manic cleaning begin!

My life's a sitcom.

See that guy? I'm married to him. Except he looks like this...

Which would make me her...

Heavy sigh.

Can't I be her?

Oh...nice.

So since I sang "All That Jazz" in 1999 as a Senior in our high school musical, I have wanted to do "Chicago."

Well our local dinner theater is doing it. I auditioned and didn't get cast.

So now I'm at a crossroads. I'm 30 (almost) and all I have known my entire life is theater. I have known that when I grow up I'm going to be an actress. Well crap. I'm grown up. Annnnnnnd I'm not an actress. I'm a wife and a mother which is awesome! But me as a person, me, Megan Leigh Julia Cochran Garcia. Well...I don't know what I am. I have no clue what to do.

This is not a pity party it isn't. I'm not looking for any sort of consoling or anything. I need to say this.

I have no clue what to do with my life. I don't know anything. I'm not educated. I don't even know what I would study. I have no clue what I will do when Lex is in school. Continue to keep the house? Get some stupid office job. Be nothing? Be a nobody?

I've done nothing with my life. I've made no impact or lasting impression. I'm not talking about with my friends. I'm talking about in life itself. You have your hairstylists. They make people look good and in turn they feel better about themselves which is a good deed. An Attorney well maybe they prove their client wasn't the person that robbed the store and in turn a innocent person is able to walk the streets instead of living a life behind bars. A doctor helps diagnose that growth as cancer before it's too late allowing that person to live several more years.

Me? I...see there you are. Now before you think this is self hating. It isn't. It's simply a realization of what have I been doing for the last 30 years?

I am the only one who can change it. So I will pray on it. Meditate on it. Concentrate on it. 30 is a big birthday. But to me it will be a time for me to grow and figure out what it is I am to do for this world.

I will continue on my journey of losing weight. I will educate myself more. I will be the best damn wife and the best damn mother. Not being cast in Chicago was a good thing for me. It is what I needed to kick myself in the ass and say goodbye to that dream. And leave it where it belonged the whole time.

A new reality. A new me.

Clever title

Hello! I've been up to nothing. That's why there haven't been any entries. Oh well...what can I say my life is boring.

We're moving!!!! I'm ever so excited. It's a house and it's on Elm St. Ha! I am having it blessed because it is very very very old. Like 1869 old! I'm very excited about moving in mainly because it has a yard for Lex and Rowdy. Plus we don't have any neighbors!

So all I'm doing is planning on what plants and flowers I want to plant. I just can't wait to get in there! We will probably have a Labor Day Bbq/housewarming. There will be a little more room then what we have now. The bathroom is teeny tiny but I will get used to it. Once we get in I will post pictures.

I have all of the utilities scheduled to turn on there. All that's left is the actual move. So...let the countdown begin! T-minus 9 days!

An open letter to the President

Dear Mr. President,

Today was not a good day. I am truly saddened by today's events. However today must be a good day for you. Why am I sad? I feel that my voice among thousands of others was completely disregarded.

It is very true that the Health Care Industry needs to be reformed. That's true. This particular subject is very near and dear to me. My brother is a hard worker. He has always worked and saved his money. He was diagnosed as a diabetic when he was 19. Now has he always taken care of himself like he should? Maybe not. But he has always worked really hard and saved his money and been a law abiding citizen. He's had some really bad health issues. No problem because he has insurance. Right? WRONG!!! They found a loophole and now my hard working law abiding (democratic voting) brother is having to pay for all of those medical expenses. Why? So he can live.

So obviously I know that the Healthcare Industry needs to be reformed.

But at what expense? Me? My parents? My 8 month old child? His children that haven't even been thought of?

A trillion dollars! A TRILLION DOLLARS?! I know you have to spend money to make money but A TRILLION DOLLARS? Do you remember 1993 when we were all freaking out because our country had a deficit of four trillion dollars? YOU JUST AGREED TO SPEND A QUARTER OF THAT!!!

I didn't vote for you. I must say I stand by that decision. You lied to all of us. You lied to every one of my friends who voted for you. You promised to unite the parties. You promised to be a centrist. You made a lot of promises. You sir are the most liberal of all Presidents that there ever was. You have divided an already divided country.

It's not even that you made a whole bunch of promises that you couldn't keep. It's that you made promises with no intention what so ever of doing them. You did the exact opposite.

I have a husband and a child. My husband works full time and I stay at home to take care of my son. We don't live outside our means. We have a strict budget that we have to adhere to. Diapers and formula and baby food aren't cheap. We don't even go to the movies because they are so expensive. We don't even have cars that were made in this century. We try to save what little pennies we have because we want to buy a home of our own. Nothing over the top. Just a nice townhouse. Our dream is to buy two new (actually used) cars and a house in three years. However tonight I feel as though our little American Dream just got crushed. Why? Taxes. You can't squeeze blood from a turnip. It's gotta come from somewhere? Guess that means us.

However time will tell. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it won't be as bad as I think. One thing you can't take away from me is hope. Although I'm sure there will be a tax on that too.

Sincerely,

Me

My dream last night...

Ugh...I think I'm trying to tell myself something. I had a dream in which I was in a dressing room trying on clothes. I couldn't quite figure out why my pants wouldn't go one. Then I looked in the mirror. To my horror my butt was HUGE!!!! I'm not talking big like you gained a few pounds. But I mean HUGE. I had a little torso and a huge booty. I started crying and then people started trying to calm me down. They were saying things like it's only temporary. You'll lose the weight.

Then they tied a sweater around my waist to try to camouflage this huge flaw. I looked in the mirror and it looked like a child's sweater. My butt was so big.

Needless to say I am going to gym tonight.

Extreme Makeover:Kenmore edition

So, I could post about the snow. However...I'm so sick of seeing snow, hearing about snow, thinking about snow and reading about snow. I surrender. I'm going to write about something else.

David and I have our plan in action. We bought our Cd's for our new cars and new house. I'm so excited to watch these little seeds grow. Best idea ever!

Since we are going to wait three years before buying a home, we've decided to make our apartment more attractive. By we I mean me. David just says "Yes dear." Ha! I've chosen the colors. First up is the living/kitchen. There is no separation between the two rooms. So the color has to flow into each other. I have decided on a pale green. It's actually the same green used in the Mark Twain Home. We are going to start that project probably this weekend. I will post before and after pictures.

I feel like this is our home for the time being and it should reflect who we are. So watch out nail holes. I out to get you!