TheMeggsiegolightly

Alrighty! My channel is a go. I decided to go ahead and do "Vlogust" and so far so good! I'm loving what I am doing. I finally feel like I found a hobby to keep myself occupied and now I don't get all stir crazy. I'm still learning my way. I cannot wait until I can get some better filming equipment, but that will have to wait a little bit. I'm just trying to come up with some ideas for vlogs.

Also, I'm trying to figure out how to get my name out there. I'm hoping to turn this more into a profession. I know that that involves a lot of work, but I feel like I found something that I am good at. I want to keep my channel light and airy. Nothing too serious. I mean if you know me in person you know that for the most part I am a goofy person. I just want to laugh and love and have fun. Most of all I want to make people happy. If one person smiles when they watch one of my vlogs then I feel I've done my job.

I was thinking of doing mostly reviews of TV shows and products and especially make up.  I was then thinking "How can I separate myself from the pack?" By doing what comes naturally to me of course! Making a total ass out of myself. I stopped doing theater and still feel the need to perform in front of an audience. So I was thinking and I have a few things up my sleeve. I guess you'll just have to stay tuned. In the meantime check out my channel. www.YouTube.com/user/TheMeggsiegolightly

Onward and upward!

Long time no blog

Hello! I realize a lot has happened since I last blogged. I love blogging and need to make more time to do it. The real reason I am writing is because I am giving some serious thought to starting my own YouTube channel. I haven't done it yet because I am nervous about all the trolls on there posting mean comments since that seems to be a problem. I don't understand trolling and I don't like it. Now, I love make up and all but I am by no means a "make up guru". I would leave that for my BFF to cover if he ever did his own channel. The other reason I haven't started yet is because I haven't a clue how to do it. I have to figure out the video editing and all that jazz. Sometimes I watch channels and I think "If they can do it then so can I!" Then I look at the program installed in my computer and I'm like "Um...maybe not."

So what will my channel be about. Well what I know about. TV! I figured since I am an avid television watcher I might as well put it to use. I know that on Fridays I would like to do a weekly review of "General Hospital" since I have been watching that show since I was born. No, I am not exaggerating. My Mom put me on the couch next to her the day she brought me home from the hospital and had me watch it with her and I've been watching it ever since.

I would include some non-television show stuff like some of the other "housewife" vlogs. Product reviews, day in a life type of stuff and of course lots about my babies.

Now I'm not sure when I will begin this whole process because I am still up in the air as to whether or not I will actually do it. Like I said I'm not sure how I would be able to handle the mean comments. Maybe I will luck out and no mean people will watch my channel. We'll see. I guess until then stay tuned!

As always
Onward and upward!

Well hello there! How are you? How's your job? Wonderful! What's new with me? Well I finally did it. I moved to Seattle. A life long dream finally achieved. Do I like it? No. I LOVE IT! I really miss my friends. However, Facebook makes it a little easier to be so far from home.

So here we are, 3000 miles away from our old home. Changes are being made and I'm loving every minute of it. After years of just saying, we're doing. Today we went and hiked around Tradition Lake. It's amazing how getting out there in the fresh air really invigorates you! Granted, this isn't new news. It just felt good to be out in nature and enjoying the beauty of it all.

I will say I miss our garden terribly. It's only temporary until we buy a house. I sure do miss waking up and walking into our garden and picking the fixings to make a salad for dinner that night. In time I will get that back, but for right now I am working on building an army of potted plants. I will plant some herbs and tomatoes. Hopefully this will satisfy my need to garden. Since we are coming up on berry season I plan on trying my hand at making jam. I'm becoming even more domesticated since moving out here. I want to learn how to crochet! When I do...Afghans for everyone!

My little Lex will be THREE in a little less than two months. Time sure does go by fast. Although I feel like I can recall everyday since he was born. We went to our first parents meeting for his preschool this past week. I had a friend who told me to make sure you get onto any parent board you can. So I did. I am now the new Treasure for the Issaquah Co-op Preschool 3's Class. Not only will I be working as a treasurer, but I will be working in the classroom at least two days a month.

I really love the idea of this because I want to be a teacher. I figure this will help me get a better idea of what teaching will be like. There is a LOT of work involved at a Co-op preschool. I am interested to see if this is going to be overwhelming or if I am thinking that it is more work then it really is. The previous treasurer said that it really is all about being organized and that being a treasurer actually helped her redo her household budget. And who couldn't use that?

I'm happy. I'm loving our new place. I'm loving cleaning it and making it all nice and cozy. It's a little weird having David working here at home. I'm sure that if he ever were to work at an office I would miss having him home. It's wonderful that he gets to see the babies so often. He just comes out to get a refill of water or something and gets to see the kids. Turtle is attached to his daddy and even though he sees him through out the day, he still has a meltdown when ever David leaves the apartment.

Life's great out here in the Pacific Northwest. I highly recommend coming out here. And if you do, look me up and we'll get a coffee.

Onwards and upwards!

Country mouse?

Oh I get it....I know what my problem is. I hate living in the suburbs. Time to move to the city. I'm no country mouse.

My babies

I know most parents think this, but I have to say there's something magical about my children. Maybe it's the innocence in their eyes or their smile when they look at me. I just feel like they are here to do good. Like their so purpose in life is to make the world a better place. People seem to fall in love with them and not in that fake "we have to pretend we like them" way, but an honestly become smitten with them.

I love my children and am so blessed to have them. I never liked kids and wasn't dying to have any. David and I had discussed having kids but it was a if it happens it happens kind of mentality. It's a lot of work having kids. People say that and it's one of those things that you kind just say "Yeah yeah yeah...how hard can it really be?" I had no idea! They are a handful.

Especially Lex because he's two and mobile. Lucy however is really attached to me for some reason. I have to be in her line of sight or else she freaks out. I ran out to pick up dinner for us the other week and when I came home David said that he just calmed her down because she frreaked out as soon as I left. She's giving him a complex. I think she's just a "mommy's girl". I love being a wife and a mom. If anyone had told me what I was in for even six years ago, I would've said you're crazy! I had no idea my life would change so drastically. I guess to put it a different way, I feel like my life started.

I don't want you to get me wrong. I'm not one of those women who is more in love with their children then they are their own husband. My identity isn't as David's wife or Lex and Lucy's mother. I am still me. I still want to be social away from my family. I am thinking of my future which is why I've gone back to school. I've decided that I will continue on to Law School after I complete my degree. I would just say marrying David and having our babies has made me more dimensional. I'm not as superficial as I used to be. However I still judge people by their shoes.

Political rant

As I have said many times I am a republican. Card carrying member since 1998. Even before then I was a republican. I was born into a family of republicans. I am a Marine Brat whose father worked at HMX and got the honor of serving the last good President we had Ronald Reagan.

I don't always agree with my party, Michelle Bachmann annoys me. I really don't like Sarah Palin. I don't agree with my parties views on same sex marriage. Someone give me a reason why gay people shouldn't get married that does not involve the "Bibles" definition. I do think that the health care industry needs an overhaul. I'm for the right to own a gun. Why? There are bad guys everywhere. You're telling me that if you get guns out of homes that the bad guys aren't going to get them elsewhere? You are delusional. Especially since the economy is so bad that in some towns they can't afford to have a fully staffed police department. You bet your sweet behind I am going to have a gun to protect my babies. Anyone breaks into my house and endangers my family will be shot.

I am also pro-life. That is as far as I willing to talk about it. I once saw someone post something along the lines of "if you are pro-life you are only kidding yourself. You are anti-choice." I will resist the urge to punch that person in the face next time I see them. That would be as ridiculous as me posting "If you are pro-choice you are only kidding yourself. You are pro-death."

I also think that it is ridiculous that they want to raise the taxes on the wealthy. Why? I mean seriously why? They earned that money and they do pay taxes. There is this stupid posting put out by Elizabeth Warren. Yes, the rich didn't get rich on their own. But you know what? They still pay taxes. You want to raise taxes for corporations? Guess what will happen? That's right more jobs will be sent overseas. Why? Because the labor is cheaper and they won't have to pay taxes. So how will this fix the economy? Oh that's right it won't. I'm not going to give the knee jerk response that most conservatives would and call her a communist. I will instead just say I strongly disagree with her.

You want to fix the economy and bring down the unemployment rate? How about you give the big corporations more tax breaks as an incentive to bring the jobs back to America! Duh.

I find it amusing that all these politicians are vilifying the wealthy when they themselves are richer then I will probably ever be. I personally think it's a joke. Talk to me about raising the taxes on the wealthy when a.) They stop giving themselves pay raises that they clearly don't deserve b.) get the spending under control and c.) All of them stop pointing fingers and blaming the other party. They are all idiots and remember what they say about pointing a finger...there's always three pointing back.

I don't know a lot about politics. I don't like to hear other peoples opinions. I know I'm contradicting myself by writing a post about it but at least you have the option to not come read my blog. I will simply end this post with a quote from Reagan.

"Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives."

Ronald Reagan

My hump my hump

I wish my butt was back up where it used to be. It moved to Miami when I wasn't looking.

The future....

Since I was a little girl I have always stared out windows and daydreamed. I always dream about my future and where I am going and what I will be doing. I used to daydream about what my husband would look like and if I would have children. I always thought about where I would be living and what job I would have. Even now I stare out my window. I'm still thinking about the future and where we will be going. Who's my next friend that I am going to meet. What will our first house we buy look like. What my children will look like and what will they be when they are grown. My conversations with David are always about our future. I'm always planning. I find it exciting. I know that they say "Today is a gift and that's why it's called the present." But to me thinking about the future is like that moment when you get a gift and it's wrapped up and you have no idea what's in it.

Whenever I think about the future I'm always happy. My life always seems happy. Maybe it's because I like to look at the glass as half full. There is a lot about me that has changed over the past few years. I don't know why but it has. I've decided that there is no point in walking around with a chip on my shoulder. There is no point on focusing on the past because I can't change it. Yet my outlook for the future has always remained consistent. It's always bright. What do you picture when you think about the future? I always see the sun rising, there's always a breeze and it's always warm. There's always a lightness to me. I'm always fulfilled. I'm always smiling. When I think about the future the feeling I get is almost like a rush or like in your favorite song when it builds up to the crescendo.

I think for me thinking about the future is a coping mechanism I developed. It's been on overdrive since June 2001 when I moved back here. I have always thought about the future and where I would be living. Whatever it is, it makes me happy. I'm just curious about what people see when they think about the future. Maybe I'm the only one who does this. To some the future can be overwhelming. To me it's a comfort.

Annnnnnd.....

I've been medicated. I'm on Zoloft. Stupid Postpartum...

A plug...

Just letting anybody who reads this blog (I'm not sure who does) but I've started up my Skinny Girl To Be blog. I totally have been working out and totally just did 1,000 crunches. What up?!!!

The Education of Mrs. Garcia

What is up everybody? How are we all doing? Good, glad to hear it. Oh that's so sad. Yada yada yada.

La Lucia is 5 weeks and one day old. She's so big! Fussy...got a bit of an attitude and always dressed fashionably. Oh god...she may just turn into a mini me!

But that's not why I am writing this blog. I did it! After years of saying I would, I finally did. That's right I am a registered college student. I even declared my major...Legal Studies. So in roughly about three years and a month (if I don't take a break that is) I will have a B.S (tee hee).

I am currently registered for four classes. The first two start July 4th. One is a required course by the school. Basically this is how you go to school online dummy! The other one I registered for was World Religions. I have always been fascinated with other religions. Then after that it's onto College Algerbra (Lord grant me the strentgh) and an English writing class. Which I am really looking forward to because my grammar skills have gone down the tubes.

I'm eager to start. I figure my story will be able to maybe influence Lex and Lucy. The whole wandering around aimlessly in dead end jobs for ten years hopefully will convince them that that isn't the life they want. It sure as hell isn't what I want.

I'm really looking forward to the big money I can make with my degree at the law firms in Seattle. So right now I have all these cheesy motivational sayings going through my head like "The tassle is worth the hassle" "Goonies never say die!"

I just like that I waited until I was married with two kids and a house to run before going back to school. I never said I do things the easy way....sigh.

Onwards and upwards !!!

Sigh...

I feel restless. Like I need a change. Yes, I know I just had a baby and that's a huge change. I go through this phase at least once or twice a year where I literally feel like I have to move out of Fredericksburg or I may die. It's annoying and I annoy everyone around me. I can't move anywhere for at least the next five years. I just wish this feeling would go away.

Also I feel lonely and isolated. I think this is postpartum, not the scary kind. Just the usual one that everyone experiences after having a baby.

I feel like my life is moving really fast and I feel like before I know it it's going to be too late to do anything with my life. I think I feel this way because basically my 20's were a complete waste of a decade. Like I never did anything or went anywhere. Now I'm married with two babies and I can't just move to New York or L.A because I want to check it out.

My 30's I believe will be the decade where I make up for having wasted my 20's. I guess it'll be all about finding the balance of pleasing my family and myself.

Maybe I should start seeing a shrink...maybe I should be medicated.

I Love Lucy

She's here! My little baby bunny, my little diamond is here. She looks so much like Lex it's scary. Like they could be twins except they were born almost two years apart. She's very sweet but serious. If I believed in reincarnation I would say she's been here before. She has that look in her eyes that she's been here before and that she has a lot to do.

She's strong just like her big brother. She already holds her head up to look at you when you hold her on your shoulder. She may actually be stronger then Lex. That's my girl!!!

The first few nights at home with her were a little scary. Poor thing would spit up everything. A few times she choked and that was terrifying! To see your little baby so scared and turning red and trying to gasp for air is so scary. But we found a new formula for babies with Acid Reflux and that seems to have done the trick. She stays fuller longer and so far we have very fortunate to not have had any more scary nights. Although I am an expert with the boogie sucker outter.

She has a healthy appetite...already put on a pound since leaving the hospital. She's starting to smile and the other night (as I posted on Facebook) she laughed out loud in her sleep.

Sleep how I miss it. It's better now with the new formula but she still gets me up at least once in the middle of the night and then is awake for at least an hour or two. However before switching formulas she was getting me up every hour/hour and a half. So I was the walking dead there for a week and a half or so.

I don't think I'm suffering from the baby blues. I do notice that I am very motivated to get back into the gym because I hate the way I look. I feel a little better about my appearance since I got my hair did yesterday. But I still suffer from the same self loathing of my body as I always have. Losing weight I don't foresee being a problem because number 1.) I'm not hungry and number 2.) I don't have time to eat. I always thought people with children so close in age said that to cover up the fact that they have an eating disorder but it's true. There just doesn't seem to be time to sit down and eat much less fix myself lunch.

I will be starting back up my skinny girl to be blog here shortly once I can get back into the gym.

How is my Turtle doing...He has entered the terrible twos. Lord. Help. Me! He's still cute and is slowly starting to warm up to Lucy. He gave her a "kissy kissy" and today has been fascinated with her little toes. He's into everything and is getting quite familiar with the Time Out chair. I'm pretty sure he thinks his name is "Alexander No." Ha! Even though he is throwing hissy fits he's still my sweet little boy and still loves to give out hugs and kisses. I'm trying to hold on to everyday with him because I know in a blink of an eye he will be a teenager and won't want anything to do with me much less hold my hand.

My poor husband is working himself to death. Since the two weeks before Lucy arrived he's been running on little to no sleep. First he's started going into work at the ungodly hour of 6:45 am to appease his stupid company. I'm not going to air out the dirty laundry but let's just say this lady hasn't been happy and my husband has had to calm me down. Plus he's a full time college student. Then we had to get our house in order because my Mother in Law came in for a visit and she stayed at our house so I wanted everything to be perfect but was too pregnant to do a lot of it on my own. So there was poor Mr. Garcia coming homing after a 10-12 hour workday starting to work around the house for about 2-3 hours in the evening for the week prior to Lucy being born. He wasn't eating until 10:00 at night and then immediately going to bed and starting all over again at 6:30. Needless to say the day after we brought Lucy home I forced him to take a nap because he was so tired he didn't even realize just how tired he was. He was so busy taking care of everyone else he forgot to take care of himself. So for the first time in about 2 years Mr. Garcia took a nap!

I've been doing a lot of reflecting. My concern now is my family and how can I provide the best life for them. So probably this time next year I am going to go back to school. I am going to get my Associates in Paralegal Studies. I love staying at home with my babies but once they are in school it's a little more hard to justify being a stay at home wife/mom. So I love secretarial work and working as a paralegal but want to make more money doing so. Plus as I have said before my lack of education has been an embarrassment to me so I'm going to change it.

Also in reflecting I've been taking a look at the area we live in. It's not at all someplace I want to raise my children. The school systems are atrocious and frankly there is a lot lacking in this area. I want more out of life for my children. Both David and I lived abroad and in a way that makes us both snobs because we've seen the world and know that there is more to offer that just this little burg. I won't be sending my kids to public school out here if I can afford it because (I'm not just saying this to be biased) Lex is quick to figure things out. He has a very curious nature about himself that I can only imagine he gets from his father. I imagine David was the same exact way when he was a toddler so my fear is that Lex would get lost in the system. It happens all the time. Let's also be honest...I've never liked this area. I actually started crying when my parents told me we were moving back here because my Dad was retiring. I have honestly tried to be happy with my life out here but I'm not. So it's time to move on.

My hope is to move out to Seattle within the next 5-7 years. David will be finished with his degree we will have hopefully by then bought new cars and have them close to being paid off, Lex and Lucy will be in school but still young enough that it won't destroy their world to leave here and hopefully Grammy and Grampy will be able to move out there around that same time. I have to be realistic though...the move may not happen but everything I want is out in the Pacific Northwest. There is so much more culture, the school systems are way superior, and the cost of living is more affordable. Sure housing will be more expensive to buy but they pay more out there. With both of us working and making a livable income that really shouldn't hurt us too much. Plus here were barely scrapping by on what David gets paid. Cost of living keeps going up but David's paycheck sure as hell doesn't. His company's stance? Not their problem. Just do the work and shut up. Don't let them know if your unhappy or you'll be fired. Nice.

So that's what's going on in our little world. Our plan for the future. And how our family of three is doing now that we are a family of four. Life overall is good. We are all healthy, have a roof overhead, food in our bellies and about 98% debt free. Well until student loans kick in. I have a beautiful family and a husband who loves me more then I thought anyone would. And I love my husband more then anything in the world. I'm very lucky. Not everyone has all of those boxes in their life checked. I do know and am very grateful. I just want to make everything perfect.

T-Minus 51 days

Yep, that's how much time is left until my little Lucia arrives. I'm excited and nervous. Thank you Erin for answering questions I had.

Something I'm really looking forward to is (besides having the baby and no longer having a watermelon size belly) getting back to the gym. I was too tired and too busy getting sick to go to the gym. I miss it. I haven't gone in months and can't wait to get back in there. I have a vision of how I want to look and want to start working on it. I know I have to be patient because I can't do any heavy duty stuff (like run on the treadmill or Zumba) but I can get on the elliptical and do some upper body weight lifting after six weeks. The other stuff I have to wait THREE months.

I also have purged my closet and dresser of clothes because I need a whole make over. I'm so bored! I used to be this like fashionable girl who always did her hair and make up and had an actual style. Now I'm like the stereotypical "housewife" except I don't wear sweats. My hairs usually in a ponytail and sometimes it's like weeks before I actually wear makeup. Yeah...ME! So I'm going to stop that because that isn't who I am. I've just been so tired that I frankly don't have the energy. And lets be honest I hardly leave the house anymore because I'm so tired. But that actually is because of the pregnancy and a lovely thing called anemia. So I'm taking iron twice a day and my prenatal vitamins. My hair is super long!!!! Last time I took my vitamins and my hair didn't grow like this but it's almost as long as it was when I worked at Borders.

So I'm looking forward to having a little bit of a makeover because I'm unhappy with my appearance and I'm the only one who can change it.

Something else I'm looking forward too is our trip to DISNEY WORLD!!!! I'm one of those paranoid people so I refuse to post when I will be out of town and am actually not telling a lot of people because people don't think and post things like "Hey have fun at Disney! See you when you get back." Not that that's like a horrible thing but I just don't want it out there when we'll be gone. So we're going later on this year. I'm so excited! I can't wait to see Lexie's face when we get there. Plus it will be nice to get away. Recently all of our trips have been to see family but that's not a vacation. So I can't wait to get away! Plus I'm tired of getting annoyed at all of the vacation photos everyone posts on Facebook. Like it just makes me bitter even though I know it shouldn't. It's the green eyed monster in me. I should really get over it.

Well I think that's it for now. Gotta go torture the Turtle by giving him medicine. Poor little guy has the sniffles. I feel really bad when he eats because it's clearly difficult to chew while holding his breath. Yesterday it was really bad! His little nose was a faucet. Ahhh the joys of parenthood.

Till next time!

Onwards and upwards.

A little bit of a rant

Hi, I know I haven't posted anything in a long time but I'm tired of biting my tongue. So here's the thing...

STOP BLAMING SARAH PALIN FOR THE TUCSON TRAGEDY! Listen I am a long time Republican as I have stated many times before and I'm not going to apologize for it because I'm not embarrassed. Do I like Sarah Palin...NO! I don't. I wish she would stay in Alaska and do something good like raise more awareness for Down Syndrome since her youngest child is a special needs child. Do I agree with how far to the right the party is heading...No! Would I become a lefty? Uh...no. Not at all.

The reason I feel like I have to blog about Palin is because I'm tired of hearing she is to blame. No. She is not. Yes she is an idiot, but as we can all agree the loudest people tend to be. She did not fire the gun. Jared Lee Loughner did. I do wish they would stop showing his mugshot because he scares me! I think almost as much as Charles Manson.

I feel that in blaming Palin you are taking blame away from Loughner. Most importantly there are families that lost loved ones in that shooting. A child, a newly engaged man with a bright future, a judge,the husband who tried to protect his wife, a wife who was devoted to her husband of 55 years & a grandmother. That is where the tragedy is. Their families need us to pray for them, to offer our thoughts, not turn an already horrible event into an even uglier one.

My heart breaks thinking about the parents never being able to hear their daughter laugh. Never getting to see what type of woman she would've grown up to be. It also breaks for the fiancee who was planning her wedding and dreaming of her future life with the man she loved. It breaks for the spouses who lost their significant others.

So enough with the bashing Palin. You want her to go away then ignore her. Don't give her any power. Give her as much thought as you would to the annoying coworker who is always spouting on about crap they don't know. Get off the bandwagon.

Hello hello

How is everyone doing? Good good....glad to hear it.

Phew what a week. I celebrated my birthday with a few friends and my family. It was wonderful. My husband spoiled me big time. To totally brag...he bought me a Tiffany bracelet and an Amazon Kindle. I have no idea what I did to deserve such wonderful gifts but I love them both so much! I have to say though that this is going to be my last birthday party. I am in no way trying to be a "Debbie Downer" but something always happens on my birthday.

First of all my birthday is the 23rd of October. One week and a day before Halloween. I always end up hearing "Oh gosh, I already committed to going to a Halloween party for that same night." Also there are a million and one people born in the month of October. So I also hear "Oh I can't go that's the same night as my sisters birthday party." So I usually just don't bother.

My hubby doesn't seem to get it. Growing up it was always dinner with the family with cake and presents afterwards. That's it. Simple and nice. Just how I like it. So that's all I want.

This birthday (which is this Saturday coming up) is going to be sad. Unfortunately a very dear friend of the family passed away VERY unexpectedly. My heart goes out to that family especially the two daughters. We met because our Moms worked together and they decided that we should hang out. We were 10, 11 and 12. When I came back from Okinawa we all became friends again. Their Mother was like an Aunt to me and she had no problem talking to me like I was one of her own children. Needless to say she, just like my own Mom, did not approve of my nose ring or tongue ring either. When I came back from Oki and was having a long distance relationship with a Marine who played the guitar she told me to "Get rid of him. Guitar players are no good." Sure enough I got broken up with over the phone with these words..."I forgot to tell you, I was in love with someone else the whole time."

She was known for her sauce and lasagna. Just like any other good Italian Mom you better come over to her house hungry because she would make you eat anyway.

All she ever wanted was to have grandchildren. My Mom and I ran into her while I was pregnant with Lex and she went on about "I don't care if they're married. They have places to go to have babies. They can have the baby and then I will take it away from them so I can take care of it."

I know she was excited when she was told by her daughter that she was getting married. The first thought in her head probably wasn't "My baby's getting married!" more like "I'm gonna be a grandma!" They are in the middle of planning the wedding and getting everything ready.

Sadly...that same feisty lady (who was always dressed nicely and had her hair and makeup perfectly done) passed away. A huge shock and an even bigger loss. She was well known in the community because she was heavily involved with Church and was a very good business woman with connections everywhere.

I can't imagine what it's like to have to go through this. My heart goes out to the family. I know if it were me I wouldn't be able to function. I wish I could make all of this go away. I wish they didn't have to go through the pain of losing a Mother and a Wife way way WAY before her time. There are no words that I can express to help them. I always fear I will say the wrong thing. I've lost relatives and friends. Never have I had to experience this. Nor do I want to.

I've told them that I'm there for them and have prayed for them. Funny enough at my birthday party my wish wasn't for me but for her. I've cried everyday since I got the call. Not for Laurie but for the family.

So farewell Mrs. Wideman. You have no idea how much you will be missed. But now you can watch over your family. I hope you will rest in peace.

I don't do camping

Camping...something my whole family loves to do. Except for me. I know for a FACT I truly hate camping. Sleeping out in nature, not being able to bathe properly, not able to control the temperature, and bugs! And spare me the whole fresh air thing...so overrated.

Now I understand the attraction people have. I get it. However this girl is a city mouse and I like it that way! I get creeped out when I go to friends who live to far down 610 in Stafford. Some people like sleeping in tents and cooking food over an open fire. I like hotels with room service.

My disdain for camping started when I was 11 the summer between 5th and 6th grade. I had a best friend in 5th grade. She was a total bookworm and had freckles and red hair. We got along well. We always had slumber parties, sat next to each other on the bus and even used the same shampoo. Strawberry scented Suave.

As it turned out she was a Girl Scout. I had been a Brownie in first grade for like 3 months. Then started talking about going on a camp out and I asked my Mom if I could drop out.

It was getting to be the end of the year and Becca started talking about this Girl Scout camp she was going to go to for a week during the summer. At this time I was really into American Dolls and had just read the Molly summer book where she goes to an away camp and I thought...That sounds like fun. So I asked my parents and they said I could go.

I was so excited! I was going to camp with my best friend! It was going to be awesome. We ordered a whole bunch of summer clothes from JC Penney. I had to get a physical before I could go. The next thing I knew it was summer and time for me to go.

We drove somewhere out in the middle of nowhere Virginia and I was so excited. I see Becca and we start running around checking out everything. Before I knew it my parents had left and all of a sudden it dawned on me. I'm in the middle of nowhere without my family. And so the crying began.

Before I get into that let me describe where I was sleeping. First of all we were in the woods. Gross! Second of all the "cabins" I thought we would be sleeping in were not cabins. No, they were tents. Tents with the flaps rolled up and beds with mosquito netting over them. Oh and there was a rule. You couldn't kill anything. Found that out the first night when a wolf spider decided to share our tent and the counselor just swept it out. It was hot and humid and I was miserable.

When my parents left I started to cry. I cried through dinner. I cried in the shower. I cried and cried and cried. I was that girl. I guess to try to help me get over the crying the counselors finally let me call home. I begged my Mom to let me come home. I said "I hate it hear and I want to come home!" My Mom said "I can't come pick you up. Get some sleep and I'm sure you will feel better. I call you tomorrow before I go to work." I hung up the phone and continued to cry. I cried all the way back to that tent and cried myself to sleep.

The next morning came and I ate breakfast and we started to break into our groups to do stupid arts and crafts. I looked at the clock and it was like 10. My Mom had promised to call me. So I started asking the counselor if she knew if my Mom had called. Finally some older woman told me "Oh she called but we thought it would make you more upset if you spoke to her." I responded with "HOW DARE YOU!!!" I was a theater nerd who had an obsession with movies from the 40's and watched General Hospital so yes that is how I spoke when I was 11.

As you can guess...I started to cry again. So to shut me up once again they took me to call my Mom. Once again I begged to come home. My Mom told me she couldn't because she had to work. My father at the time was stationed all the way down in Norfolk and my brother couldn't be bothered to pick me up. She reminded me that it was Monday and that I would be home Saturday. So I was going to have to tough it out until then. So I hung up the phone and cried.

I had no choice but to suffer through it. The stupid arts and crafts, the childish "theater" classes, and the awful humidity and bugs.

Then I found out that on Wednesday we were going to come all the way down to Fredericksburg to watch a performance of "The Music Man." I saw it as my opportunity out of this hell hole! So I asked if I could bring my stuff and have my Mom pick me up. They said "No." How could they tell me no? To be honest I had been crying and complaining so much I'm surprised they didn't want to just get rid of me.

So there I was in Fredericksburg watching "The Music Man" with a lot of people I knew from having been involved with local community theater groups. I thought about begging someone to give me a ride home. I knew no one could do it. So we got back on the bus and I cried because I was so so so close to home.

Remember when I mentioned my Dad was stationed in Norfolk at the time? He came home every weekend, yep drove two hours every Friday just to be home for the weekend. That Friday he added an extra 3 hours to his commute just to pick me up. One day early.

I was never so happy to see my Dad. I jumped into the truck and never looked back. We went out to my favorite restaurant that night (Golden Corral) and I told them everything that happened. Oh something really embarrassing, I was so homesick that when I opened up my suitcase I found a dryer sheet. I kept it under my pillow because it smelled like home.

My Mom reminded me a few years ago about the letters I had written to her while I was away. They all said the same thing. "I hate it here and I want to come home."

About a week later I called Becca to apologize for being such a wet blanket and asked her how the last night at camp was. She said it was fun and that they had a sing along around a bonfire. I asked if she wanted to come over and go swimming and she said she couldn't. And that was the last time I talked to Becca on the phone. I saw her in the hallway at school and would wave but we were never friends like that again.

I've been camping a few times since then but I still hate it. In Okinawa we went to a smaller island to camp called Iheya Island. They had feral cats that sounded like mountain lions, bathrooms that looked like they belonged in a Stephen King novel, & no American style toilets in said bathroom. Also I got attacked by a folding chaise lounge. It totally swallowed me whole.

So there's my adventure in camping. I don't like it. If our next baby is a girl I won't make her go. Just do yourself a favor...if you have a daughter who is a little princess save yourself the headache and don't send her to camp. Unless it's a day camp.

Another opening another show

So yesterday was the opening of "There's a Monster in My Closet." It went pretty well. Nothing to horrible. Except for one of my scenes which always seems to have a problem. Just one of those things.

More importantly it was Lexie's big theatrical debut!!! So I'm a big ol'crybaby now. Ever since I had Lex and combine that with me being pregnant (I feel like I'm always PREGNANT) I started to tear up. I held it together though. My Mom didn't she started crying when she saw him.

I think though this will be it for the whole acting thing for awhile. With yet another baby on the way, I gotta put my stuff to the side and focus on being a Mom. My time of being selfish is over. Maybe this will be good for me. Help me figure out what it is I want to do.

My new/old crush.

When I was like 15 we finally got "3rd Rock From the Sun." That started my crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Like many other girls my age. I would watch that show mainly so I could watch him. Also like many young girls you grow up and forget about your teen crushes.

All of a sudden that young schoolgirl crush has returned thanks in part to movies such as the amazing "Inception" and "500 Days of Summer." If I weren't married...It's okay because David has Asia Argento.

Here comes the baby carriage...again.

So much to my surprise I am pregnant. Again! Someday I will figure out what causes this. Just kidding!

I gotta be honest. At first I was like "Oh no! How are we going to do this. We barely have money as is." Then my Mom pointed out that nothing will change. Lex will be old enough to try and potty train and all the formula and baby food will now go to "Bunny." Like she always says "just throw another potato in the pot." So that's what we will do.

I'm concerned that Lex will eventually grow to resent Bunny because he'll feel he got robbed of time with just us. David keeps telling me they will be best friends and watch out for each other. He's 23 months older then his brother Chris, like he's some sort of expert.

So we have no idea when Bunny's due date is. We are guessing anywhere between March-May. I think I am actually a lot farther a long then we first thought. I feel a lot of activity in the baby area. I swear there's a bed in there that she's jumping on. Right now I'm convinced it's a girl. Also I've started to wonder if we are having twins. They run on both sides of the family and it's the generation to have twins. That would be....mind blowing to say the least.

So here I am. Preggie Meggie once again. I hope this one is as cute as the last one!